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They've Gotta Have It
The impossibility of being celibate
Peter T. Chattaway | posted 5/01/2002



Chastity—that's Cher's daughter, right? And then there's Virgin Records. It hardly comes as news that we live in a time when once-prized Christian virtues survive chiefly as vehicles for irony. Still, there are moments when a celibate person realizes afresh just how profoundly out of step he is with the world.

Several months ago, David Letterman mentioned in one of his monologues that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, one of Hollywood's more celebrated couples, had reportedly not had sex with each other until after they had gone out for nine months. As one who has always associated sex with lifelong commitment, and as one who has always assumed that I would have to know someone for at least a year before making such a commitment (to see how we handle all the holidays, if for no other reason), I thought it didn't sound so odd to wait that long. But I was brought back to earth by the huge collective gasp that came from Letterman's audience. Apparently the thought of a couple—especially two hot young actors—putting off that kind of intimacy for so long was one of the more shocking things they had ever heard.

I had another one of those moments a few months ago when the ads for 40 Days and 40 Nights, which declare that it is "unthinkable" for someone to give up sex for little more than a month, began popping up. Forty days? I wanted to laugh. Try 30 years!

40 Days and 40 Nights stars heartthrob du jour Josh Hartnett (currently best known for playing military types in Pearl Harbor and Black Hawk Down) as Matt Sullivan, a twentysomething dot-commer whose girlfriend dumps him and becomes engaged to a guy higher up the corporate ladder. Unable to cope with the breakup, and egged on by his sybaritic roommate, Ryan (Paulo Costanzo), Matt runs through a series of one-night stands, hoping in vain that each sexual encounter will distract him from his romantic woes. But these flings always end with Matt overwhelmed by the "vast emptiness" of his promiscuity and shaking from panic attacks. Desperate, he turns for advice to his brother John (Adam Trese), who is studying to be a priest, but John cynically questions Matt's ability to control himself. Lent is about to start, and Matt decides to prove John wrong, vowing to give up all sex-related activities for 40 days.

Of course, it isn't easy for a man like Matt to quit sex cold turkey—not when he's the sort of guy who can apparently bed a girl without even trying to seduce her. His coworkers set up a gambling pool over the Internet, taking bets on how long his vow of celibacy will last; a few of his female colleagues set out to tempt him on days when it will help them to win the jackpot; and since Matt's vow covers masturbation as well, one of the guys in the office dangles a copy of Penthouse before him and sends him marching to the bathroom, like a recovering junkie anxious for a place to shoot up. (In a different scene, Matt insists he isn't a sex addict, but at times he sure acts like one.)

All these attempts to compromise Matt's integrity fail in the end, but an even bigger threat to Matt's resolve appears when he meets Erica (Shannyn Sossamon) at the laundromat. Matt and Erica go out on a few dates, but his reluctance to immediately hop into bed with her is a stumbling block for their relationship. Erica wants to have sex pretty much right away, but Matt insists on sticking to his vow, which is due to expire in a few weeks anyway. So instead of actually having sex, they talk about the fact that they aren't having sex. Without intercourse to keep them occupied, Matt and Erica don't really know what to do.


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