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In evangelism, people do not need admonishments as much as they need to be carefully heard. Once I'm listening, I range through their arguments to find out where I can agree with them. Very often the "God" they're rejecting I would reject, too. Why not let them know that?

A Christian friend of mine was a high school principal in Los Angeles. One day a father came charging into his office, irate over the F his son had received in a certain course. The man had dreams of his son going to an Ivy League school, and now this teacher was destroying the plan. He wanted the grade changed.

My friend listened to the threats and demands for a while, and finally when there was a pause, he said quietly, "I can see that you care a great deal about your son."

The man suddenly began to cry. The mask came off. He was strong but aloof, and the only way he knew to do anything for his son was by bullying. When the principal spoke about relationship, the point of deepest hurt was exposed. Now the father was ready to be helped.

My friend knew he wasn't going to ask the teacher to change the grade. So why be defensive? Instead, he listened with his heart until he got in touch with the man's underlying journey.

I remember going to a Navigators conference in Colorado Springs during my student days. As part of our training, we were all going to go out and hit the city with a great witnessing blitz; Colorado Springs would never be the same. Jim Rayburn of Young Life had been invited to talk to us, and he said, "Well, I know what you're headed out to do … you're going to go out there and say to people, 'Brother, are you saved?' and you've got to say it real fast, because you may never see that person again … " He paused a moment before continuing.

"And you won't. You won't."

Then he shared his philosophy of evangelism, which was to take the time it takes to share the Good News of Jesus Christ with people.

I'm not saying we should not be urgent. But the gospel has its own urgent edge and does its own convicting of sin. Isn't it good that the Holy Spirit takes care of that as we simply witness to the truth?

A crusty engineering professor in our city was shattered when his wife died of a sudden heart attack just as they reached retirement age. She had been a Christian, and after the funeral, he came to see me. I steered him toward the Gospel of Mark and some additional reading. After several weeks, I could see the New Testament was gradually making sense to him. My closing comment in our times together was usually, "Let me know when you're ready to become a Christian." (I rarely say, "Are you ready?" Instead, I ask people to let me know when they have enough information to put their weight down on the trustworthiness of Jesus Christ. I believe the most central evangelistic question is "Are you able, on the basis of what you've discovered about Jesus Christ, to trust your life to his faithfulness and love?" This draws together repentance from sin and response to his love.)

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