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When singer Brooke Barrettsmith was 15, she suffered her first panic attack. Pressure to succeed, stress over image, and worry about the future gave rise to what she describes as "heart-racing, irrational thoughts of fear and of not making it to tomorrow—or even to the next moment."

Brooke knew these intense attacks were medical and hereditary, but she also saw a spiritual dimension to the medical condition. "My heart was not set on living for Jesus," she says. "I felt the Holy Spirit telling me I'd come to a crossroads. I could either choose to follow the Lord and have victory over my attacks, or I could continue to live on the fence, never knowing when fear was going to take over."

Brooke began memorizing Scripture and learning how to fast and pray on a regular basis. Her parents encouraged her to dive headfirst into her relationship with God and held her accountable as she did so.

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"Slowly but surely, God was delivering me from my daily panic attacks," Brooke says. "I've learned to pray in the moment of panic and then bring that to the foot of the Cross and ask Jesus to meet me where I'm at. His Word says, 'For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind' (2 Timothy 1:7, NKJV). That was the verse I clung to."

The lessons Brooke learned in dealing with her panic attacks came into play in 2006 when she and her sister tried out for American Idol. "It was the most stressful and crazy anxiety-filled thing I've ever done," she remembers. "But God knew what he was doing. After all, by the time I tried out, I had already developed this ability to see the attack coming and give it to the Lord before it ever got to the point of a panic attack."

As Brooke advanced to Idol's top 40, her experience with anxiety also allowed her to minister to other contestants. She says, "I got to pray with a lot of people who weren't used to dealing with that kind of stress. And at that point, even if they were atheists they were like, 'I'll take anything right now to relieve this stress!'"

While panic attacks are not something Brooke would choose to experience, she says God has used them to help her reach out to others and to bring her closer to him. "Panic attacks are not my identity," Brooke says. "My identity lies in Jesus, and he is the ultimate peace."

Copyright © 2009 by the author or Christianity Today International/Ignite Your Faith magazine.Click here for reprint information on Ignite Your Faith.

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