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How can I encourage a friend who's going through a divorce?
Listen, listen, listen
Job 13:5-15
Divorce is one of life's most painful experiences. Many people cry for month, lose (or gain) thirty pounds, and generally feel their life has ended. During this acute stage of grief, it doesn't do much good to rehash the mistakes of the marriage or to offer hollow hopes of reconciliation. Just listen and take cues from your friend about what he/she wants to talk about. He/she probably won't remember much of what you say anyway. But he/she will remember the comfort of your presence and perhaps a bowl of homemade soup.
Job wasn't getting a divorce, but he must have felt that God had "divorced" or abandoned him. Although his friends tired to help by explaining God, their ill-informed advice was less than comforting for Job. But even though Job didn't understand God, he didn't separate from Him. In the end Job was able to say, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him" (13:15). Offer your divorcing friend a quiet example of your own faith. In time he/she may be able to trust God, too. (See also Isaiah 43:2-4; Isaiah 61:1-3; 2 Corinthians 1:3-7.)
Good Words to Remember:
Oh, that you would be silent, and it would be your wisdom! Now hear my reasoning, and heed the pleadings of my lips. Job 13:5, 6
Today's Challenge:
How can you listen more effectively to your friends who are in pain?
Copyright © 2003 by the author or Christianity Today International/Christian Bible Studies.
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