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Male-female friendships are ripe for all kinds of pitfalls—sexual attraction, male-bashing or female-bashing, even competition. It's a miracle that Abigail, "a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance" (25:3) and with the financial, personal, and spiritual resources to help a promising man, became David's friend instead of manipulating him.

The key is that Abigail stayed focused on God's agenda. She didn't flatter this future king or become subservient to him. Her respectful appeal, in fact, urged him to obey God in peaceful, helpful ways. Even though she was a rich woman who held the power and purse strings, she didn't talk down to him but offered reasonable, wise solutions.

In the same way, you can stay focused on God's agenda in your friendships with people of the opposite sex. You can pray for God's best in your friend's life—that your friend will behave with integrity, seek God's will in his/her work, see temptation coming and resist it.

If an inappropriate attraction begins to glimmer at all, fight it immediately. Even a platonic "affair of the heart" can cause trouble. Stay out of situations in which you are alone together; and if either of you is married, meet each other's spouse and children and befriend them. This emphasizes reality instead of fantasy. If you have a friend you can trust, confess your struggle to him/her and be accountable for your thoughts and behavior. The prayer support and accountability your friends provide can get you through temptations. (See also 2 Kings 4:1-7; 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8.)

Good Words to Remember:
The LORD will certainly make for my lord an enduring house, because my lord fights the battles of the LORD. —1 Samuel 25:28

Today's Challenge:
Do your friendships with the opposite sex follow the above guidelines?

Copyright © 2003 by the author or Christianity Today International/Christian Bible Studies.

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