If possible, keep the matter private between you.
| posted 1/30/2009
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What's your first response when a friend has hurt you? Get her back? Pretend nothing's wrong? Ask the advice of another friend? These are all perfectly natural responses. And, according to Jesus, all of them are wrong. As hard and embarrassing as it may seem, the first response is to go to that person privately, admit you've been hurt, and try to sort it out—just between the two of you. It doesn't always work; but if it does, you've gained a friend, and no one else need ever know about the problem.
But Jesus was a realist. He knew that not all relational problems are so easily solved, so he prescribed further steps toward reconciliation: Enlist the help of one or two others, perhaps even your church. If serious sin is involved and there's still no repentance after those steps, it may be best to separate. Perhaps the separation will cause your friend to miss relationships with other believers, turn away from his sin, and come back to the people of God. (See also Leviticus 19:17-18; Matthew 5:21-26; Luke 6:37-42.)
Good Words to Remember:
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. Matthew 18:15
Today's Challenge:
Do you keep your hurt private or share it with others? How might you reconcile relationships more easily in the future?
Copyright 2003 by the author or Christianity Today International/Christian Bible Studies.
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