See your own contribution to the rift in your relationship.
| posted 1/30/2009
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When a friendship goes sour, it hurts. So you may respond to that hurt by trying to find someone—anyone other than yourself—to blame. A friend's casual comment becomes, in memory, a malicious attack. A forgotten appointment symbolizes a callous disregard for your feelings.
But Jesus gives some good advice: Stop finding fault with your friends and take a good, hard look at your own shortcomings first. Not only is this advice spiritually healthy, it's also eminently practical.
Imagine you go to your friend to "remove the speck that is in [her] eye" (6:42) by offering to "help" her fix the faults you so generously point out. How is she likely to respond? Now imagine you go to your friend acknowledging the "plank in your own eye …" (6:41). You admit your share of the problem and try to fix it first, maybe even asking for your friend's help. How is she likely to respond now?
When you look at your own failings realistically, you'll have a much better perspective on the perceived failings of your friends. For better friendships, be a better friend. (See also Leviticus 19:17-18; Matthew 5:21-26; Matthew 18:15-20.)
Good Words to Remember:
Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37
Today's Challenge:
Do you look at your failings realistically or through colored glasses? If you ask a friend the same question about you, what would he or she say?
Copyright 2003 by the author or Christianity Today International/Christian Bible Studies.
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