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A friend has a problem. The solution seems simple to you. Should you share your insight?

Maybe. But first ask yourself a few questions. Does your friend want advice, or does she just want you to listen to her feelings? Are you sure your solution will work? Maybe your friend has already tried it and found that it failed. Maybe she has considered it and rejected it for reasons you don't know. Will your advice actually solve her problem, or will it just get you off the hook because "you've done all you could"?

Many of us are born fixers. We're convinced that if people would only listen to us we could make everything right. Job's friends were like that. They knew why Job was suffering, and they knew what he should do about it. They were certain Job was suffering because he had sinned. In their minds, the solution was perfectly obvious — he needed to confess, and God would relieve his suffering. No matter how much Job objected to their explanation, they knew he was wrong. But God said they were wrong. He demanded repentance from them.

So don't be too quick to advise your friend. Listen first, and respect what she says. Most solutions are not as simple as they seem. (See also Proverbs 27:6; Ephesians 4:25-5:2; James 1:5-8.)

The LORD said to Eliphaz the Temanite, "My wrath is aroused against you and your two friends, for you have not spoken of Me what is right, as My servant Job has." —Job 42:7

Are you a born fixer? If so, how can you make sure you're listening before offering solutions?

Copyright 2003 by the author or Christianity Today International/Christian Bible Studies.

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