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Sex isn't something one person does to another. It's a shared gift. But that sharing requires a giving up of personal freedom. According to Paul in verse 4, "The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does"—not at all a surprise in that era. But Paul went on to say, "And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." This must have come as a terrible shock to men who viewed a wife as personal property.

This principle has far-reaching results. How often will you have sex? Who initiates it? What sexual practices will you choose? If a husband and wife belong to each other, these decisions are mutually agreed upon, with the goal of giving and receiving pleasure from each other.

That means talking—about sex. For many couples, that isn't easy because of their background, beliefs, or communication style. But you can't really know what your spouse wants without occasionally talking about sex, even the "when" and "how" parts. And once that discussion begins, be ready for a few surprises. Then listen, talk, and adjust. Remember—you belong to each other. (See also Genesis 1:27-31; Song of Solomon 5:10-16.)

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife. 1 Corinthians 7:3, 4

How can sex become even more of a gift to you and your spouse?

Copyright 2003 by the author or Christianity Today International/Christian Bible Studies.

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