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What would you do if you found out your spouse was having an affair? Would you confront him with his behavior, then leave him? Would you, instead, go out and have an affair of your own to "pay" her back?

The Book of Hosea tells the story of a husband, Hosea, and his wayward wife, Gomer, who was playing the part of a harlot, running around with many lovers. Hosea could have reasoned, She's running around on me, so why shouldn't I run around on her? But that's not what God called him to do. He kept his relationship with his wife pure and helped "buy" her back from her prostitution. But his love didn't stop there. He didn't allow her to continue her wayward behavior. He insisted that she remain pure and abstain from her affair in order to live in his home. If your spouse has had an affair, you can apply the same principles: you can choose to forgive because all of us are sinners (and there is no hierarchy of sin in God's eyes). But then you can insist that he turn from his wayward behavior if he is to continue living in your home. You can insist that he repent of his behavior, which means he needs to turn away from it permanently and recommit to your marriage covenant. (See also Genesis 39; Matthew 5:27, 28; 1 Corinthians 6:12-20.)

Let her put away her harlotries from her sight. Hosea 2:2

Are you ever tempted to pay your spouse back for an affair, or simply an inattention to your emotional needs? If so, how can you deal with such times in a godly manner?

Copyright 2003 by the author or Christianity Today International/Christian Bible Studies.

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