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As a parent of adult children, you may err in two directions. You may underestimate what experience has taught you; and you may overestimate what your adult children can absorb from your experience, or that they will even fully "hear" what you say about it. Your children, like you, learn best from events in their own lives.

Naomi passed to Ruth practical instructions on how she might propose marriage to Boaz without public embarrassment to either of them. The process had risks, even danger. But Ruth knew that this was Naomi's area of expertise—and so far Naomi had been right about Boaz. So Ruth took those risks. Instead of rape, she received a blessings (3:10). Instead of rejection, she received a gift (3:15-18).

Passing on your wisdom is worth the effort. Whether it is how to make grandmother's lemon pie, gauge the long-term trends of the stock market, or keep a growing relationship with God, you owe your children the heritage of your experience. But you also owe them the freedom to use or ignore that information (fresh-squeeze lemon might not be practical in their time-crunched microwave world). Even if your adult children do not follow your counsel exactly, a relationship of trust and respect allows them to draw on your wisdom in unexpected ways. Ruth and Naomi trusted and respected each other. This kind of relationship will aid the process of parents deciding what to share—and children deciding what to use. (See also Genesis 13; John 3:1-21.)

{Ruth] said to [Naomi], "All that you say to me I will do." So she went down to the threshing floor and did according to all that her mother-in-law instructed. Ruth 3:5, 6

Do you share or force your wisdom on your adult children? How could you change your relationship for the better?

Copyright 2001 by the author or Christianity Today International/Christian Bible Studies.

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