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Make God Real to Your Kids
It's easier than you think, says child-friendly educator Karyn Henley.
Interview by Ron R. Lee
We all want to make God's love and care real to our kids, but it can be a challenge. We sit Jimmy down to hear a Bible lesson only to find that he's more
interested in poking his brother and tipping his chair back on two legsbefore
falling over. Even when no stitches are required, it's frustrating.
Many of us feel we're not doing that great a job at the most important
task facing Christian parents. But before you don sackcloth and ashes, consider
the hands-on approach advocated by child-education specialist Karyn Henley.
"Kids can learn from the direct teaching approach," she says, "but they really
learn better in other ways."
How can we make our
children's spiritual development a more natural part of family
life?
We often think of family devotions as everyone sitting down together to read
the Bible and pray. But with young children, family devotions don't
have to involve reading anything. Children 5 and under learn best by moving
around and touching things. So if your kids are preschool age, do something
active for family devotions. (See "Devotions Preschoolers Will Love" at right.)
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Devotions Preschoolers Will Love
Karyn Henley encourages parents to weave lessons about
God into routine events. Here are ways to do that.
Supply spiritual nourishment at breakfast. "While you're making pancakes," she says, "tell your kids:
'This pancake is round like the sun, and I know a story where God made
the sun stand still' (Joshua 10:12-15). Then tell that story while
you're making pancakes. You can even pull the edges of the pancake out
to make rays coming off the sun. You're translating a biblical story
for your children, but you're making it active."
Take a pretend trip. "Spread a blue
plastic tablecloth out on the floor," Karyn suggests, "and tell a story dealing
with waterlike Noah and the ark. Using the full length of the tablecloth,
outline the shape of the ark with masking tape or with blocks. Have your
kids bring their stuffed animals to put on the 'ark' while you
tell the story of Noah and the great flood."
Spend time on the floor. "Pretend
you're in a meadow. Count out 99 cotton balls and pretend they're
sheep. Tell your kids the last sheep is lost. Have them close their eyes
while you hide the 100th 'sheep.' After your kids find it, tell
about the shepherd who went in search of his lost sheep (Matthew 18:10-14;
Luke 15:1-7)."
Ron R. Lee
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What else works with young children?
Talking is a natural way to connect. You don't have to talk about Jesus
every moment, but you should be modeling Christian values. You do that in
the daily routines of family lifewashing clothes or cleaning up spills.
When you serve your family, you are modeling part of what it means to have
a Christ like character.
But do kids realize that when Mom cleans up a mess,
she's demonstrating a Christlike spirit?
They won't make the connection, but you can. Just say, "I'm being
a helper. And sometimes you help me. Those are things that God likes us to
do."
But even when you're not talking about it, you are building into your
child's life a picture of how Christian faith is lived out. And your
life speaks louder than any words you'll say. If he sees you read your
Bible regularly, one day he'll sit down with a book. He might be holding
it upside-down, but he's pretending to read his Bible.
When we encounter a "teachable moment" in our
child's life, how can we make full use of the opportunity?
The best way is to use Jesus' method, which involves connecting a truth
with the listener's experience. Identify one of your child's
experiences, verbally connect the truth to that experience, then challenge
the child to think about God.
What does this look like at home?
Let's say the sun is beginning to set. You and your child could draw
a chalk outline around a shadow on the driveway. Then you'd say,
"Let's come back in ten minutes and see where the shadow is."
When you come back, you'll see that the shadow has moved. But you can
explain: "The shadows caused by the sun move. But the Bible says that God
'does not change like shifting shadows' (James 1:17). That's
a verse from the Bible." You've taken something concrete and connected
it to a truth in the Bible.
Then, to help your child consider the significance of God's unchanging
nature, you could say, "I'm glad God doesn't change. What are some
things about God that you're glad never change?" You're challenging
your child to think about God's character. (See "Bananas from Heaven"
below right.)
God's creation provides natural opportunities
for lessons about his character. But what about difficulties in a child's
life? Should we use troubling experiences to teach spiritual
truth?
It's not too early to do that, even when your kids are preschoolers.
Let's say your child's friend is hurting because her parents are
getting a divorce. The friend fears she'll never see her dad again.
If your child is concerned about her friend's pain, talk about the
situation. You can begin by asking, "Why do you think Jenny was crying?"
By asking and listening, we learn what our children understand, what
they're confused about, and what they might be thinking. Usually, all
they want is a simple explanation.
Just say, "This was a very sad thing that happened to your friend's
parents. Let's pray for her and then think about what we can do to help
her feel better."
What about troubling experiences in the child's
own life, such as being afraid of the dark? How can we use those as teaching
opportunities?
First, remember that it's natural for a child to be afraid or unsuresuch
as being frightened by thunderstorms or being shy around strangers. We parents
are afraid of some things, too.
You can help by showing your child that he can come to you with his fears,
and you will not just push that away. Children want to be heard. But without
realizing it, we often block the process. When a child's afraid, a parent
might say, "Oh, thunder won't hurt you. Be a big boy and be brave."
That doesn't acknowledge the child's feelings.
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Bananas From Heaven
According to Karyn Henley, even babies can learn about God when you connect lessons with their direct experience.
"When they're eating a banana," she explains, "just say, 'God made the banana.' They may not know the word 'God'. They may not even know the word 'banana', but they know the flavor. And you're communicating to your baby through what he understands.
"When he feels the rain, tell him: 'God made the rain.' When he's in the bath, explain: 'God made the water.' You're introducing your child to God's creative nature.
"When you cover him with a blanket or put a sweater on him when he's cold, just say: 'I'm taking care of you. God takes care of you, too.' That introduces your child to God's caring nature.
"And when you're hugging or rocking your child, say: 'I love you, and God loves you.' Even if he's too young to know the words 'love' or 'God', your child knows the feeling of being loved. And you're introducing him to God's loving nature."
Ron R. Lee
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What would be a better way to respond?
It's helpful to say: "I understand that you're afraid of the thunder.
Why don't you sit in my lap so we can rock for a minute? And let's
sing a song about God's love and care while we're rocking."
That's a great time to help your child think about God's protection.
Another thing that helps is telling stories. If you can find good story books
that deal with the same thing your child is struggling with, read them to
your child. Or you can make up your own simple stories.
Some of us have trouble making up good stories.
Is there another way we can address our kids' problems?
Yes, take advantage of play time. When you play with your child, she develops
more trust in you, especially in the preschool years. As you get down on
the floor and pretend to be a doggie, you are able to talk together in ways
that you can't do if you sit her down and say, "There now, let's
talk."
Also, you can set up situations with toys that address your child's
concerns. Just say, "This little bear is afraid to go to bed at night. His
mom and dad are over here." Then let the child play with the figures. She
might say, "Now the little bear isn't afraid 'cause his mom closed
the window and the curtains stopped blowing, and they said a prayer to God.
And God is watching over him."
So far we've talked about parents teach ing their kids. But young children do have a natural
softness toward God. How can we learn from our kids?
Adults lose our sense of awe because we tend to focus on what's in our
brains instead of what God has put in front of us. We can be sitting very
quietly but lack peace inside because we're thinking about what we
didn't do that we should have done, or what we're supposed to do
three hours from now that we really dread doing. We are continually living
either in the past or in the future.
But children live in the present. What a child sees, what he smells, what
he hears, what he tastes, what he touches, that's where he's living.
That's why kids see those awesome things in God's creation that
we overlook, because we just go blind. So let your kids inspire you with
awe and let it draw you into seeking God.
God gives us children to grow us up, but he gives us children to keep us
childlike inside, too.
Karyn is a popular speaker and the author of several books, including The Beginner's Bible (Zondervan), God's Story (Tyndale) and Child-Sensitive Teaching (Standard). She and her husband, Ralph, live in Nashville with their two sons.
Copyright © 1999 by the author or Christianity Today International/Christian Parenting Today Magazine.
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May/June 1999, Vol. 11, No. 5, Page 44
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