A popular worship song based on these verses asks God, "Teach us to count our days/ Teach us to make the days count … "

Making the days count—how do you do that?

If there is anyone who needs to "gain a heart of wisdom," it is the children's ministry leader. It's not easy to lead kids these days, because it's not easy to be a kid these days. Kids today face tremendous pressures. They see and experience violence everywhere, from the playground to the PlayStation. They're hurried and busy, which sometimes makes them stressed. Many live in fractured families.

Last weekend at church, our pastor shared a sobering statistic. Even though we have an excellent, relevant, and thriving children's ministry, and there are lots of kids in Promiseland (our children's ministry) classrooms on any given week, it's apparently not the same kids every week. The average child shows up for Promiseland 1.6 times a month. That's less than half the time.

Young kids can't drive themselves to church, so you have to assume when the kids are missing, their parents have chosen not to be in church. Although as spring soccer and baseball seasons gear up, it may be the child's agenda that is driving the attendance pattern, as sports sometimes trump Sunday school.

So as a leader, you've got time with the children you're ministering to only a few hours a month, maybe only one hour a month. How will you make those days, or rather, hours, count?

Let's break it down a little more. In the work you are doing, your main tools are loving actions and words. You have a limited number of words that you will be able to share with the kids you lead.

Making the days count, according to Scripture, begins with prayer. The verses from the Psalms give us a model for prayer. "God, please establish the work of our hands for us." God will establish, or give permanence to, our work, for us. It is not we ourselves who can mold a child. We work with God, and bring our gifts, and he establishes, or makes to last, the work we do. Knowing this, pray this prayer each week before you spend time with the children you lead. Establish this work, Lord. Make it last, give it permanence.

What words will last? What words should we say to these children? We should say the words that they most need to hear. "I believe in you," for example, or "You can count on me," or "I treasure you."

These are just three of the phrases that Promiseland director David Staal says are Words Kids Need to Hear, the title of his newest book.

I started reading David's book because I was looking for ways to strengthen and encourage my own children. And as a mom, I found this book both challenging and encouraging. But this is also an invaluable resource for anyone who relates to children—as a coach, teacher, even grandparent, aunt or uncle.

As a children's ministry leader, you are in a unique position—you are a significant adult in the life of each child you lead. Children need love and encouragement from parents, but they also need it from other adults. We all have a tendency to think, at least occasionally, that perhaps our family loves us because they are stuck with us, because they sort of "have to."

But a teacher, coach, or ministry leader doesn't have to engage emotionally. They can, especially if the church is desperate enough for volunteers, just show up and make sure the kids don't hurt themselves or anyone else. They can basically baby sit.

Or, they can choose to number their days aright, and attain a heart of wisdom. They can make the days count by saying words that will be established, permanently, in the hearts of the children they lead. They can choose to be intentional, and by so doing, not only help kids, but attain a heart of wisdom—that is, nurture their own spiritual life.

If that's your heartfelt desire, to affirm and encourage the kids you lead, and grow in Christ yourself, pick up this book, which offers you seven phrases that kids need to hear. Through engaging stories about encounters with his own children, Dave offers wisdom of not just what to say (things like, "I'm sorry, please forgive me") but also, how to say it.

Words Kids Need to Hear also includes a helpful appendix titled "When You're Not the Parent" which ministry leaders will find very helpful.

These words will have a lasting impact on the kids who hear them. But just saying them will also shape you, as well. Especially if you are mindful that these are words that express how God feels about you. And he's entrusted you to pass along these messages of affirmation to children who may not get these words elsewhere. Make the days, and your words, count!

Keri Wyatt Kent is the author of six books, and is a sought-after speaker and retreat leader (www.keriwyattkent.com).

Copyright © 2008 Promiseland.

Read more from 'For Your Soul'

Words Kids Need to Hear To Help Them Be Who God Made Them to Be by David Staal If you could choose just seven statements to share with children, what would they be? Each chapter in this compelling book focuses on a single statement elementary-age kids need to hear from parents, children's workers, and other close adults. These seven statements are simple to share, yet guaranteed to profoundly impact children. They are: I believe in you. You can count on me. I treasure you. I'm sorry, please forgive me. Because. No. I love you. will educate, equip, and motivate parents and children's ministry teams to carefully choose words that building up kids' hearts, to say them frequently, and to do so in creative ways. What children hear from trusted adults significantly influences their self-image, their current relationships, and future relationships—including that all-important relationship with God.