I find a common communication practice quite funny—creating phrases with words that really don't go together, and yet, still make sense. For example, "alone together," "definite possibility," "real phony," "small crowd," "jumbo shrimp," or "turn up missing." These are just a few phrases that we call oxymorons; figures of speech in which contradictory terms appear together. I recently moved from Chicago to Orange County Ca, and discovered another oxymoron—"affordable housing"!

I want to share with you an oxymoronic equation necessary for you to succeed in ministry. In fact, what I have discovered in my years of ministry is an absence of this equation will result in short-term ministry.

Self-confidence + Humility = Kingdom Advancement
What I propose to you is this: It takes the combination of the first two, not one or the other, to complete the task God gave you. Jim Collins, in his book Good to Great, describes a level five leader (the highest level in a hierarchy of executive capabilities) as one who possesses a combination of humility and will. To succeed you need both. So the big question becomes: "How do I function with self-confidence and maintain a spirit of humility?

Let's look at self-confidence. Have you ever had an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy? Have you been in a position or been given a responsibility that you knew was too much for you? Well, me too. In fact, I call this the "Thanksgiving Journey." Why? Because anytime God puts me in a situation where I am being stretched, I thank Him for having confidence in me.

Self-confidence is absolutely necessary for you to succeed in your ministry. Some may argue that this confidence can lead to arrogance, and I agree. However, that's why humility is the next part of the equation.

A lack of confidence sets you up to believe Satan's lies; when he reminds us of our sin, tells us we are not good enough, not talented enough, or not worthy. Self-confidence negates these lies and creates a clear passageway from God to us, so He can do His work through us. You see, it's all about the source. Our confidence doesn't come from ability, skill level, or experience; it comes from Jesus himself. That's the difference between confidence and arrogance. When those feelings of inadequacy or fear find me, I remind myself of what Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things He planned for us long ago."

It's just that simple; I am God's masterpiece and He created me for a purpose. This is the source of our confidence. We cannot allow the enemy to steal our sense of confidence and hinder or prevent the flow of God's power in our life.

Now for the second part to the oxymoronic equation: Humility.

I obviously don't have to make a strong argument for humility; we all know what the Word says about this subject. However, I have watched a lack of humility kill ministry and destroy lives.

In Philippians 2, we learn about Christ's self-emptying servant nature. Here we find an important principle in Scripture: before honor comes humility. The cross comes before the crown; the person who seeks honor will ultimately be humiliated, but the person who humbles himself will later be honored (Matt. 23:12).

Have you ever known someone (because I'm sure you have never done this) who thought they were God's gift to the world—or at least to your children's ministry? Or maybe on a less extreme note, have you ever seen someone on your team, or in another church given a responsibility, an accolade, or receive attention, and you've thought I can do that better than them, why do they get all the breaks, why do they get attention or the opportunity that I should be getting? We all know this attitude is dangerous and unhealthy.

If we know this, then why do we let it happen? It starts with the big problem of being human and comes full circle with free will. So the bottom line is this, we are born with a selfish "me-centered" mentality and have the ability to make our own choices with regard to conduct. Sounds like a lethal combination, and it is. That is why we rely on humility to combat these natural tendencies to exalt self.

Look at King Nebuchadnezzar in the book of Daniel. We see in chapter 3 that he gives praise to God and declares death to anyone who speaks against God.

Here's the problem, Nebuchadnezzar had no problem recognizing God in that moment, but he obviously saw himself as the source of strength and power. He later had a dream that showed him that he would lose his throne and live like an animal. Daniel is called in as the "Dream Buster" and gives the King this message from God in Chapter 4 verse 17, "The Most High rules over the Kingdoms of the world and gives them to anyone he chooses."

So there it is; God is sovereign and He is in control. We might think we are where we are because of our talent, skill, experience—but God reminds us we are where we are because He set it up.

It is God who works through us. When we experience a win or a success, we should be quick to remind ourselves exactly who made that "win" happen. We are the tools God designed to carry out His purposes. His word tells us that we are greatly valued, but we can't forget the fact that God can do His work with anyone He chooses.

Samuel Brengle wrote, "The axe cannot boast of the trees it has cut down. It could do nothing but for the woodsmen. He made it, he sharpened it, and he used it. The moment he throws it aside; it becomes only old iron. O that I may never lose sight of this".

Take the Disciples for example. In the New Testament, Jesus had the power to choose anyone He wanted to be on His team. Why then, did He choose fisherman and a tax collector? I don't know. For whatever reason, Jesus chooses the most unlikely people to be his key leaders (Mark 1:16-20, Luke 5:1-11, John 1:35-51).

They had humble beginnings but ironically, after a few successes, they could see the "prize" of promotion (Matthew 18:1-6). While these guys experienced first-hand the principles of servant leadership in action from Jesus, they would eventually let their guard down when they asked, "Who is the greatest?"

It is so easy to fall into this trap. And once you start "believing your own press," you begin a downward spiral that will leave you ineffective and damage your ability to lead. So, how do we serve with the self-confidence we need to overcome the fear, doubt, and feelings of inadequacies while at the same time maintain an authentic humble spirit?

Five suggestions:

1. Be honest with yourself.
Admit that you are susceptible to this pitfall. Surrender to God every day and honestly ask God to help you overcome it. We can only deceive ourselves for so long. Eventually, the truth of who we are on the inside will surface. Ken Blanchard says, "When we start to get a distorted image of our own importance and see ourselves as the center of the universe, we lose touch with who we really are as "Children of God." Honest evaluation is a critical starting point.

2. Seek and receive honest feedback.
Surround yourself with people who love you enough to offer brutally honest feedback. You know; the kind we say we want to hear but in reality we really don't want to hear. When you ask others for feedback you also send the healthy message:" I don't know it all. I'm not perfect. Help me see what I might not know." This is vital when you consider the fact that so many people who fall into this trap do so blindly. In other words, they slowly evolved into a lifestyle of fear or arrogance as a result of small steps in that direction. That's why this feedback is essential.

3. Give credit where credit is due.
Have you ever known a "glory hog"? If so, you know these people look for every opportunity to gain attention, accolades, advancement, etc. Not many people want to follow this type of leader. In fact, over time, this type of leader has to find ways to manipulate others to follow their leadership.

When you see others on your team, in your church, or your peers doing well, encourage them by giving them credit for their work. Draw attention to them, not to yourself. By doing so, you'll combat the natural tendency we humans have to exalt ourselves. Also, when we don't care who gets the credit, we are more concerned with solutions and less concerned with being noticed. Harry S. Truman said it best, "You can accomplish anything in life, provided that you do not mind who gets the credit."

4. Help others around you succeed.
Make a commitment to elevate those around you. Look for ways to help them succeed in their ministry by investing in them and sharing ideas. For example, if you know a good resource, share it with others. If you see a peer or team member heading down a dangerous path, be honest and risk the relationship in order to save them from unnecessary difficulty. Don't view other leaders as your "competition." Rather, see them as Kingdom teammates. Be as committed to their growth and success as you are to your own.

5. Stay in communion with God through your prayer life and His word.
It's amazing to me how easy it can become to ignore the simplest and most vital sustenance in life. Without that consistent spiritual connection, our tanks will empty and we will have nothing to draw on but our human nature. And that's where big trouble begins. Jesus really does serve as our source.

Self-confidence + Humility = Kingdom Advancement. Both qualities are necessary for us to accomplish the "good works" that God destined for you and me. And these qualities are not innate gifs, they are a choice. A choice made daily. A choice that then develops into a lifestyle.

Choose well.

Steve Adams serves as the children's pastor for Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, CA.

Copyright © 2008 Promiseland.

Read more from 'Leadership'

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