Heaven, Harvard, and Other Parent Choices
by Betsy Hart
posted 1/19/2007
 1 of 3
I like to say that the goal for my children is heaven, not Harvard (which is a great thing, since none of my dear kids seems destined for the latter!). Of course, if they go through Harvard on their way to heaven, that's wonderful. Yet if they get to Harvard—at the expense of heaven—boy, have I failed them.
When I speak of heaven, I'm not just talking about a "ticket" to everlasting life. Rather, I'm referring to my desire for the grace, power, love, and forgiveness of Christ to break into my children's hearts here and now, making them fit for God's purposes today.
Ask any Christian parent, and he or she will probably say the goal for their kids is the same—heaven. The question then becomes, which I also must ask myself, how are we actually living? Would an outsider who doesn't know anything about us look in on our lives and say, "Yep, that family's mission in life is heaven"—or would he say "Harvard"?
Let's be clear—there are a whole lot of times I wouldn't want an outsider looking in on my family of one mom and four kids: ages 12, 10, 7, and 5. It's not always pretty!
It's in those times I have to remember that, even with all my faults and shortcomings, God designed me as he designs every Christian parent—to be the one most responsible for discipling my children in Christ. There are exceptions, but overall, no one is more intimate in the lives of children than a parent. No one loves them more, is more devoted to their well-being, or would more readily lay down their lives for them in an instant. Sound familiar? This is true about our Heavenly Father's love for us! And it's our call to model that love for our kids.
Sure, we are imperfect sinners. So what? The responsibility Christian parents have is not optional. Whoever we are—whether our children have made a credible profession of faith or not—we occupy an office in the lives of our kids, and our job description is to disciple them. What we do in this regard will typically influence our kids more than any other adult on the planet. That is by God's design. It's no accident that, as Christian pollster George Barna found, most people who begin a relationship with Christ do so by the age of 13.
But based on my own struggles, I'm guessing that today's Christian parents fall into a couple of different, even overlapping, camps.
The first is the nominal Christian, who really isn't sold out to Christ. If soccer practice interferes with church on Sunday morning, it's a pretty tough call. Or not. Soccer wins. Maybe all of us live this way at some point, or many points.
When parents walk closely with Christ, the life change will far more likely just bust out into families. When we don't take that walk, we'll actually look for ways to avoid bringing up our children "in the fear and admonition of the Lord."
Maybe that's why more and more children's ministries, and churches themselves, seem to recognize that the best thing they can do for kids is to encourage and exhort parents to a stronger walk with Christ.
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