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What is prayer? How does it work? When should I do it? We took these questions and others to Timothy Jones, author of The Art of Prayer.

What is the purpose of prayer?

Prayer puts us into a day-by-day, moment-by-moment relationship with God. It allows us to get to know him. It's how we communicate with him. But it's more than just talking to God. So often we think of prayer as doing or saying something, but sometimes it's just being in God's presence.

Why don't I always feel God's presence when I pray?

There could be a number of reasons. Perhaps you're feeling disconnected because your times of seeking God have been inconsistent. That can make a difference. Perhaps there is some unconfessed sin in your life that's nagging at you, making you feel like you need to slink around when near God. Or maybe you're mad at God and need to have it out with him. But even a bigger issue: Feelings lie. We tend to take our emotional temperature at every turn. Feelings aren't everything. The important thing is to keep praying. Don't quickly conclude that because you don't "feel" much nothing is happening. There is never prayer where nothing happens.

Why don't I hear God respond to my prayers?

How do you know you haven't heard God? How do you know God hasn't been answering, perhaps in a whisper, or through circumstances, or through your conscience? A lot of times we're so rushed and busy talking we don't pause to listen. We fill our lives with sound and drown out God's normal way of speaking, which is through a still, small voice.

It takes patience and practice to hear God. As we grow in familiarity and intimacy with him, we will be better able to hear. God communicates with us all the time—through the beauty of creation, the love of friends and family, and especially through Jesus Christ. Jesus was the Word of God made flesh. His coming to earth was God conking us over the head with the truth that we can enjoy fellowship with him. And then, of course, he speaks to us through the Bible. It's called "The Word" for a good reason. It's full of all the truth and guidance we need to live a rich, faithful Christian life.

Sometimes it's hard for me to talk to someone I can't see, someone I can't really picture.

I think having a mental picture of the God you're talking to is absolutely essential for a vibrant prayer life. To form that picture, you have to understand something about the nature of God. Obviously, if your idea of God is a silent or uncaring being, it's not going to inspire very much prayer. But if you take to heart what Scripture says about God, you'll find he's a God of compassion—a caring God who wants us to come to him.

I first began to see this when I was in junior high. I remember one day I was talking to my best friend, and a mutual friend of ours came up and asked my friend, "Have you ever read the Bible?" I don't remember how my friend responded, but I remember that an answer began forming in me which was, "Here I've gone to church all these years, and I really don't know what's in the Bible. I don't really read it for myself. I don't have that first-hand acquaintance with God."

So I went home and began reading the Gospels. As I read I found myself awed. I began to sense that God was real, and that Jesus was not just a historical figure but a living reality. That made all the difference in my prayer life. I began waking up in the mornings with this wonderful sense of discovery, realizing that God loved me and that he was there. It was a big motivator for me to want to spend time with God.

When the Bible says to pray without ceasing, what does that mean?

It obviously does not mean we're always holed up in our room, on our knees with hands folded. It cannot mean that because we have to live, we have to eat, we have to relate to people.

I think it's talking about a life characterized by prayerfulness. I also think it's talking about a discipline that's cultivated throughout the day, one of learning to turn the mind and attention to God. You can do that while taking a test, walking to school or driving a car. Whenever a thought of God comes or whenever a need arises, we can offer it to him in prayer.

So I need to learn to pray throughout the day. But should I also set apart some time when I can focus solely on prayer?

Someone once said that the only way to pray all of the time everywhere is to resolutely set about to pray some of the time somewhere.

In other words, I think if a person tries to pray only when they're on the run, only in the car, or only when they're walking from one class to another, that's going to make for a pretty scarce prayer life. So we should set apart times when we can really focus on God—regular times of sitting down or going for a walk or run, getting away from the normal routine.

That's not to say you have to legalistically clock a certain number of minutes at a certain time each day. I would just say that every day should have some period of time where God is given our primary focus. I mean, we eat every day, we talk to our friends every day, we do all kinds of things every day, things we wouldn't dream of not doing. I think prayer should be one of those things.

Do my prayers really matter that much? I mean, doesn't God already have everything planned out?

For some reason God has willingly chosen to act through us and through our asking. This seems almost too good to be true. It boggles the imagination of many people I know. They reason that either God wills something, in which he brings it about anyway. Or he does not will something, and their asking can't change anything.

But I believe there's another option: that God intends for some particular thing to happen and wants to use us to make it happen. Perhaps for some things he wants and plans to do, he even waits for our prayers before he acts. Yes, this is an incredible opportunity he gives us. It's also a responsibility. It's a promise not only of what can happen, it suggests what may not happen if we ignore the invitation. There is more to our asking than we can ever imagine, because there is more to God than we can ever fathom.

Will God be more likely to answer a prayer I pray over and over again?

Jesus told a wonderfully odd story to make sure we don't give up on asking God for something. A widow kept nagging a crabby judge for "justice" against her adversary. She felt wronged, and would not stop pestering the judge until he ruled on her behalf. She was persistent to the point of rudeness. She had nerve. Why did the case come out in her favor? The official couldn't care less about God or widows. It was, Jesus said, so that the woman would not "eventually wear out" the poor man with her nagging. Think about it, then: If an irritable, insensitive judge will respond, how much more will God?

The Bible says, "Ask and it will be given to you." But there have been times I've needed something urgently, and he didn't answer. It seems like God's breaking his promise.

Here's where faith comes in, and patience. As someone once said, I have lived to thank God that not all my prayers have been answered. I've prayed for relationships that at the time I was convinced were absolutely the right thing. With the benefit of time, I see they wouldn't have been good in the long run. Sometimes we ask for possessions that would ruin us if we got them, power that would corrupt us if we got it.

I think God is less concerned about the request on our lips than he is in shaping us. Quickly granting a request might not truly help us.

Why does God answer prayers that seem insignificant, yet ignore other prayers that, if answered, could save a life?

I don't think there are easy answers. We can say God knows best, that God loves us even when we hurt and grieve. And those are important truths. But they will not always take away the pain.

Perhaps no one asked such questions more heart-wrenchingly than Job in the Old Testament. He lost it all: family, possessions, health. But even in the midst of unbelievable heartache, Job found it unthinkable to forsake God. So he said, "Though [God] slay me, yet will I hope in him" (Job 13:15).

Job didn't receive answers for his unanswered prayers. God brought not explanations, but himself. I think that's what matters more than anything else—knowing that we are not alone. We may never solve the mystery of evil. We may not receive the relief or healing we hoped for, but we can meet a real God who can carry us through the pain of what seems to be a meager answer. With him by our side, we find the ultimate answer.

Timothy Jones is an author, editor and speaker. He has written many books about the spiritual life. His most recent book is Prayer's Apprentice. You can find this book at your local bookstore or on the Web at amazon.com.

NOTE: For your convenience, the following products, which were mentioned above, are available for purchase from the ChristianityToday.com Shopping Channel:

• The Art of Prayer: A Simple Guide, by Timothy Jones
• Prayer's Apprentice : A Year With the Great Spiritual Mentors, by Timothy Jones

Read more from 'Faith & Values'

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