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Why Did My Friend Die?

A good friend of mine died a few months ago. I've been really depressed and still have a broken heart. Why would God let bad stuff happen to us if he loves us so much?

Your letter brought back the hurt of when my best friend died. It's still painful and I simply don't have an easy answer for you. Here's how I've been coping with it.

Life is a gift. You and I had absolutely no input on when or if we'd be born. And we also don't know when we'll die. God gives us the gift of life, and in his plan, everyone dies. Focusing on what I like to call the "eternal perspective" helps me a great deal. If your friend was a Christian, you can take comfort in knowing he or she has been transitioned from this life on earth to his or her eternal home with God. Here's what the Bible says about heaven: "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away" (Revelation 21:4). As much as you want your friend here on earth, you can still find comfort and hope because you know your friend is in a better place.

If your friend wasn't a Christian, you unfortunately won't find much comfort in that eternal perspective. Frankly, it's harder to deal with the death of a non-Christian friend because we can't say they've "gone to a better place." But one positive thing can result from the death of a non-Christian friend: It can encourage us to be more determined to share our faith with non-believers, so we can know that they also will have eternal life with God.

Regardless of whether your friend was a Christian or not, you'll want to talk with your youth worker or pastor about your question. Please know it's OK to share your pain, doubts, questions and even anger to God. You also used the words "really depressed" to describe your feelings. If you're still feeling that way now, you should see a professional counselor.

Finally, you didn't mention whether you're feeling suicidal, but if you are, I urge you not to take your own life. Seek help immediately. Tell someone right away. Suicide replaces a temporary problem with a permanent tragedy. Hold on. If you don't have anyone to talk to, call 911 and explain your situation. Or call 1-800-383-HOPE, 1-800-NEW-LIFE, or 1-800-SUICIDE.

Before my friend Rob died, I got on my knees and begged God to heal him. For a few months I even thought he would recover, but then he died. I had prayed and even tried to get God to see things my way. But he reminded me, "You will have to trust me on this. However, through your pain, please don't ever forget what I've promised through Scripture: 'I will never leave you nor forsake you' (Hebrews 13:5). I have never said I would keep you or your loved ones free from pain and even death. However, I did promise that I would walk with you through your difficult circumstances."

Due to the volume of mail, Jim cannot answer every letter. Questions should be sent to: "Good Advice," Campus Life, 465 Gundersen Drive, Carol Stream, IL 60188. You can also reach "Good Advice" via fax (630-260-0114) or e-mail (CLmag@campuslife.net). Find more "Good Advice" online at www.campuslife.net.

Read more from 'Good Advice'

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