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She was No. 1 on the radio. She was playing to sold-out crowds. She'd just written a book about sexual purity. And she was recording a new CD of worship tunes, her favorite style of music. Rebecca St. James was on top of the world. And she was falling apart.

"i was scared"
The last few months of 2001 were, as Rebecca describes it, "insane." She was constantly on the road and juggling too many projects. She was trying to balance the frantic pace of a performing artist with some semblance of a social life. And she was trying to spend time with her boyfriend.

Rebecca was exhausted. She wanted to slow down. Some days, she just wanted to be alone. But she kept going.

One night, it all finally caught up with her—in a big way.

"I was hanging out with some friends at an Italian restaurant," Rebecca says. "I noticed my cheek felt kind of funny. I tried to puff out my cheeks, but I couldn't do it. I asked my friends if they could do it, and they must've thought I was crazy."

When she woke up the next morning, one side of her face felt numb. She tried to drink some juice, only to see it dribble away, drooling down her chin.

"I was scared," Rebecca says. "I thought I'd had a stroke."

Her family rushed her to a doctor. It wasn't a stroke, after all. It was Bell's palsy, a temporary condition that causes facial muscles to weaken or become paralyzed.

Fortunately, Rebecca's was a mild case. With strong medication, her symptoms disappeared within two weeks. But it was a brutal two weeks.

The palsy prevented her from shutting one eye; she had to tape it shut so she could sleep. She had trouble eating and drinking. And it affected her smile—a big deal for someone whose smile lights up a room.

"It looked fake, because it was only half a smile," Rebecca says. "Nothing was working on one side of my face."

On top of all that, the medication made her feel awful: "It just wiped me out."

She needed rest. And lots of it.

"My body just said, 'I can't take any more of this!'" Rebecca says. "I was absolutely exhausted, physically and emotionally."

So she did something she'd been planning for years. She took some time off. For five months, she left all the craziness behind and just relaxed.

letting her hair down
Rebecca spent much of her sabbatical in Australia, where she grew up.

She visited grandparents and cousins and old friends. She stayed in a house on the beach. She read. She prayed. She slept. She swam. She sat and watched the waves. She rode horses. She went on an all-day bike ride in the rain. She went four-wheeling under the moonlight.

Best of all, she got to stop being Rebecca St. James, Christian Music Superstar. And she just got to be plain old Rebecca. Or, as friends call her, just "Bec."

"I got to really let my hair down and stop being a performer," she says. "I just wanted to do something normal."

So she looked for a job.

"I wanted to work at a coffee shop, so I could meet people from all different walks of life," she says. "I just wanted to get the feel of what it was like to have a real job."

Rebecca's resumé said she had a "sunny personality" and was "a hard worker," but not a word about her music. She didn't want any special favors.

And she didn't get any. She applied at several places and even had an interview, but nobody called her back with a job offer.

"It was discouraging," she says. "But just the process of looking for a job was good for me. It made me realize how vulnerable you're making yourself by going into these places and asking for a job."

Since she couldn't find "real" work, she tried to volunteer at a Christian café. She laughs as she tells the story.

"They said, 'We'll call you if we need help,'" she says, her voice rising. "Well, here I was volunteering my time, and they still didn't call me! I just couldn't believe it!"

Now she's laughing hysterically, a long, loud laugh that says much. It says she's well rested, at peace and happy. And ready to roll—though never at the same pace again.

learning to be still
Asked if her time off accomplished what she had hoped, Rebecca says, "Absolutely, beyond what I could have dreamed. I really felt blessed in every area of my life—physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. I felt like God was clearing me out and gently loving on me the whole time. It was amazing."

Now Rebecca's back on the road with her Worship God tour, working on a new CD (a greatest hits project due in the spring) and thinking about writing another book. But she's also making more time for her social life, though she's broken up with her boyfriend, a guy she dated about six months. And she's making sure she takes time to rest.

That's the biggest thing she learned last year, a lesson further affirmed during her time off.

"I've learned the art of just being, of not having to do anything," she says. "To me, the definition of that is found in Psalm 46:10, which says, 'Be still, and know that I am God.'

"In Australia, I had days where I would just lie around and pray, or just clear my mind and be with God. Now I've got to incorporate those times into my crazy life here, to bring more balance.

"I had a friend tell me that she believes a real day of rest is when you could just stay in your pajamas all day long, because nothing is required of you. We all need days like that."

Lesson learned.

Read more from 'Bands & Artists'

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