Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for a couple of months. She isn't a Christian, and she's not entirely sure what she believes. I've shared some of my beliefs with her, but I don't think I've ever shared the whole story from start to finish. How can I effectively share Christ with her without seeming too pushy?

A. I'm glad to hear you're not only talking about your faith with this girl but that you're being sensitive about it as well. I think one of the biggest mistakes we Christians make is to tell other people about Jesus without listening to their questions, their doubts or their ideas. That's certainly not what Jesus did, and it's not what we're supposed to do.

So don't stop sharing your faith with your girlfriend. Do share your beliefs about Jesus and how he wants us to live. At the same time, show her what it looks like to live as a Christian. Be kind, be forgiving, be compassionate. Live with honesty and moral integrity. Serve others. When she has questions, answer them as best you can but don't argue with her or try to prove why she's wrong and you're right. Listen. Pray. Care. That's how you share Christ.

Now for the part you might not like: I think you need to stop dating your girlfriend. The issue isn't that dating her will hurt your faith—although it could. Rather, I think it's going to hurt hers. You see, as she learns more about Jesus, as she watches you live out your faith, she might very well want to become a Christian. But it may be difficult for her to separate her feelings about faith from her feelings about you. Her interest in these conversations might be genuine, but it might also be tangled up in her interest in you. If you want to be a true friend to her and offer a genuine witness to the selfless love of Jesus, then put her needs first. You can, of course, stay friends—even good friends—and keep the door open for dating in the future. But for now, the conversations you are having need to be between friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend.

Carla is an editor of the Teen Devotional Bible (Zondervan).

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