Q. A couple of years ago, I worked up the courage to tell a friend I liked her. She's funny, self-assured, smart and serious about her faith. She'd been my good friend for a long time, and I thought she'd be a great girlfriend. It turns out she didn't want to date me, but she still wanted to be my friend. The problem is that I haven't been able to get over her. I'm still really attracted to her. We've stayed friends, but I'm wondering if I should just take a break from her for a while. How do I get my emotions under control?

A. Nearly everyone I know—myself included—has had this same experience at some point. You like someone romantically who doesn't like you that way, and you just can't seem to get that person out of your mind. But I can tell you that nearly everyone I know who has had this experience—myself included—eventually got over that person and found someone they liked even more.

I know that sounds impossible right now. I know that it's hard not to compare every other girl to this one. And I know that it's hard to stay "just friends" with someone you're crazy about. But I also know that the feelings you have right now won't last forever. I'm also sure that there'll come a time when another girl will come into your life who will have feelings for you.

I'm telling you this because I'm con-cerned that you've had these strong feelings for "a couple of years" and are still not sure what to do about them. I wonder if you've decided somewhere in your mind that this is the only girl for you and have stopped paying attention to the other possibilities out there. She's made her feelings clear and I don't think you should spend more time hoping they'll change. Maybe you are holding onto those hopes because—in addition to your genuine feelings for her—you were hurt by the rejection. Deep down, maybe you hope to overcome that rejection by winning her over. But your worth does not come from this girl—or any girl. Her telling you no doesn't mean you aren't any good—it just means you aren't the one for her.

Of course, the trick is moving on in your heart. Start by telling yourself that she's a great girl and you're blessed to call her your friend. Remind yourself that your friendship could last a lifetime, while a dating relationship could fizzle out in a few months. Then, think about the other great girls you know. There might be someone else in your life who has been waiting for you to notice her, hoping one day you'll see that she'd be a great girlfriend, too.

Sometimes, when we like someone, we let those feelings take over our lives. But life is about so much more than dating, especially during your teen years. So let this girl go. Get back to enjoying her friendship without hoping it will become something else. Get back to being the kind of guy that funny, self-assured, smart and faith-filled people want to be friends with. I promise, she won't be the last girl like that to be part of your life.

Carla is an editor of the Teen Devotional Bible (Zondervan).

Read more from 'Love, Sex & Dating'

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