"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
—Matthew 5:4, ESV

I remember the day I got a phone call from my dad telling me my mom died. I was shocked because my mother was only 59 and hadn't been sick at all. During the flight to my parents' home and over the next few days, the shock slowly turned into mourning, a deep sadness that my mother was gone. Even though my mom died 20 years ago, I still feel sadness when I think of her.

Some people think I should have gotten over it by now. Jesus thinks we should never get over it. In fact, he says people who don't get over it are blessed.

That's because we only mourn things we have loved. If we haven't loved, we cannot truly mourn.

Let's say one weekend I read about the death of someone named "John Smith" in the local newspaper. Since I don't know John and didn't love him as a friend, I don't feel anything.

But when I think about another John—a friend from church who has cancer—I have deep feelings. We're praying for his healing, but if he dies, I will mourn his death. That's because I know this John. I love him.

We can't do anything about the death of a loved one. There's no reversing it. We can't get back in control. We can't do anything to bring the loved one back to life. I can remember the good times we shared, but even that makes the loss all the more painful. In the end, I have to simply accept the death and accept my grief.

That's what Jesus is saying here—accept the grief. Accept the mourning. Don't fight it. Don't deny it. Don't wall yourself off from people. Don't kill the feeling with drugs or alcohol or other risky behavior. Just let the pain make its way through you. It is a blessed pain. It means you are a healthy individual. You have entered into relationships that mean something; you've risked caring about others. You've decided to love, and sometimes that leads to grief.

Mourning is blessed for another reason: It means we're becoming like Jesus. Jesus loved his friend Lazarus so much that when Lazarus died, John 11:35 says, "Jesus wept." It's the shortest verse in the Bible, but one of the most powerful. Jesus—our Savior and Lord and God come to us in the flesh (John 1:1-14)—mourned the passing of a friend. Mourning is a godly act.

And of course, for those who let themselves grieve, there comes a promise: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." God designed us so that we will feel joy in the presence of loved ones, and grief when we are separated from them. He also designed us to receive comfort.

That comfort comes in the hug of a friend, in the prayer of a pastor, in the encouraging word of Scripture, in the fellowship of friends who gather around and "weep with those who weep" (Romans 12:15, ESV). Grief has a way of bringing people together to love each other even more deeply. So while love will eventually lead to grief, it turns out that grief leads to more love.

On top of that, mourning shapes our lives so that we can reach out in love to others. Paul put it this way: "All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us" (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, NLT).

And so it comes full circle. It's as if Jesus is saying: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be loved, and blessed are those who love and grieve, for they shall comfort and love others even more." Such is the way of love—it always gets the last word. Even over death and grief.

Mark Galli is senior managing editor of Christianity Today, and author of Jesus Mean and Wild: The Unexpected Love of an Untamable God.

Read more from 'Blessed Are'

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