My editor assigned me to learn about King David's true character. I figured you can tell the most about someone by how they act in difficult times. So I found a guy who witnessed one of the worst days of David's life. For some reason, my source wasn't very excited to tell the story.

What happened the first time you met King David?

Well, I didn't really "meet" him. He was actually just passing through my little town with those in his army who still supported him.

What happened to David's other supporters?

Well, David's son Absalom had gathered a large following in a conspiracy against his dad. He was planning to kill his father and take over the throne. So David and the soldiers who remained loyal to him were fleeing for their lives through my hometown.

So you went out to support your good king?

I—well … You know, the word support has a lot of definitions.

I don't think you're telling me everything. You realize I could just go read it in the Bible for myself …

OK. OK. [Dramatic sigh.] I cursed him, all right? I called him a scoundrel and a "man of blood." I was glad that he had been kicked out of the kingdom. I wanted to make him as miserable as possible.

I thought David was a good king. Why all the bitterness?

You have to understand that I'm a relative of Saul's, the guy who was king before David. So if Saul's son Jonathan had become king instead of David, I would have been part of the royal family. May-be I could have been an earl or a duke, or something.

Plus, Absalom was a really persuasive guy. He spent a lot of time hanging out by the city gates, chatting up all the farmers and merchants. With a lot of flattery, Absalom convinced them that all their problems would be solved if only he had a little more power.

So you thought some name-calling would bother the king? You know what they say: "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me."

[Another sigh.] Well, I did throw stones.

I climbed up a hill and chucked rocks at David and his men as they marched by. When I ran out of rocks, I kicked a bunch of dirt down on their heads.

Did you not notice David's army?

Not my smartest decision, really. I'm an idiot. Luckily, David told his men not to hurt me. He just kept moving.

So how'd you feel when Absalom was defeated and David returned to power?

I knew I was in big, big trouble. So I went to see David on his first day back. I admitted what I had done was wrong, apologized and asked him to forgive me. And he did. He gave me an oath that he wouldn't let any of his commanders harm me.

Just like that?

Just like that. I'd never understood what the people meant when they talked about David as "a man after God's own heart"—especially after the whole Bathsheba scandal. But when he forgave my mistake without even thinking about it, I realized that he did have a loving and forgiving heart—just like God.

Did you ask to be named an earl since he was in such a good mood?

Nah. I figured that would've been pushing my luck just a bit.

Who is this mystery Bible character? Find out in 2 Samuel 16:5-14 and 19:14-23. (For insights into the "Bathsheba Scandal" see 2 Samuel 11-12 and Psalm 51.)

Read more from 'Guess Who?'

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