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Great Expectations

Despite his amazing success, Steven Curtis Chapman still struggles to feel accepted by others.

by Chris Lutes

Steven Curtis Chapman wants to be liked. He wants to be appreciated. He wants to make people happy. So when he completed his latest album, Signs of Life, he worried about how others would respond to his new musical direction. After creating several albums in his signature, light-pop style, this latest album was certainly a change.

I met up with Steven during the final stretch of his "Signs of Life" tour. Seated across from him in the lounge of a Holiday Inn, I listen as Steven talks about his change in musical direction. Creatively, he says, the album felt so right. Not too "polished" and slick. A little bluesy. More musically complex. Less commercial. He felt he'd used his God-given gift of creativity in new and fresh ways.

Yet, he tells me, he was also nervous. He couldn't help but wonder if his "old friends" who liked his "old sound" would feel the same way.

"Just before the album came out, I couldn't help but wonder, Will people like it? What if people want their 'old friend' back?"

Yeah, Steven Curtis Chapman has won three Grammy Awards and multiple Christian music Dove Awards. And shortly after I interviewed Steven, he won his fifth "Artist of the Year" award at the Dove ceremonies. At about that same time, his 1994 release, Heaven in the Real World, went platinum (selling one million copies), and Signs of Life went gold (500,000 copies).

Still, Steven struggles with insecurities, and he wrestles with living up to high expectations. He felt it big-time while preparing for the "Signs of Life" tour.

"The expectations were so high," says Steven. "The people who planned the tour wanted to fill big arenas with 15,000 people. There was no way I felt I could fill those arenas!

"I like to be safe. I like having a small place. I don't like to see empty seats."

Bottom line: He didn't want to let anybody down—his management, his record company, his fans, and, yes, himself.

Steven didn't need to worry too much. All arenas may not have been completely full. But crowds of excited fans had been turning out by the thousands. (When the 80-city tour ended, more than 400,000 people had attended his concerts.)

As Steven mulls over his desire to please, he tells me this isn't a new problem. In fact, way back at Concord Elementary School in Paducah, Kentucky, Steven was the kind of kid who just wanted to make everyone happy. He wanted to be known as the friendly guy. The good kid.

"When I got into grade school," says Steven, "I saw things wrong with the way kids treated each other. There was such an in-crowd that left out so many."

Steven was turned off by the so-called rules that declared one kid cool and another kid uncool. Being a 'nice guy' sure wasn't part of being cool.

Steven decided he'd work hard to change the rules. He'd prove to everyone that nice guys can finish first.

So he came up with a plan.

"Each year, the school elected Mr. and Miss Concord," explains Steven. "The honors always went to kids who were part of the in-crowd. It had nothing to do with being nice and friendly. I wanted to change that. I wanted to be Mr. Concord."

By the time he finished sixth grade, he'd made it. He was voted Mr. C. A nicer, friendlier Mr. C.

Being voted Mr. Concord proved to Steven he could be rewarded for being a nice guy. But it also made him fearful of messing up.

"Throughout my school years, I worried a lot about disappointing others, especially those in authority, like teachers and principals. If I got in trouble for anything, I would get down because I believed they wouldn't have a very high view of me."

For the most part, Steven managed to live up to his rep. He managed, all in all, to put his best, smiley face forward. It worked.

In junior high, he was elected student body president. Then over at Heath High School, he was voted Mr. Heath. No kidding.

Today, Steven is known as one of the nicest guys in Christian music. Just ask anybody who's rubbed shoulders with him. Just ask any concert-goer who's ever felt his warm, "ah shucks" stage presence. This guy makes you feel important even in a crowd—a very big crowd. In writing about his "Signs of Life" concert in Birmingham, CCM magazine put it like this: "With his sincerity self-evident, … Chapman seemed more like a next-door neighbor than a successful musician."

There's nothing wrong with trying to be a genuinely nice guy. What is wrong, says Steven, is letting the need for acceptance go too far. There needs to be the right balance. And he struggles with finding that balance.

"It's so wrong to worry so much about everybody's opinions. It's wrong to make that the sole reason for your decisions. When that happens, you're obviously not being obedient to what God wants.

"My desire is to strive to be completely obedient to God and his will for me."

Steven admits that's very hard to do—especially when you thrive on acceptance. "I wrestle and wrestle with this, and sometimes I walk away kind of wounded and limping. But I know I've made progress."

Steven pauses, looking thoughtful, like he's searching hard for the right words. Then he says, "My prayer has always been, 'God, if I can't handle this—and only you know if I can—take me out of this whole music thing.'

"It's so easy to say those words, but I pray God will look in my heart and know I mean what I say. I don't want to do anything to rob him of his glory."

He pauses again, then continues.

"More than anything else, I want my life and all my decisions to please to God. … When it's all said and done, the number of people attending a concert doesn't matter. The number of albums I sell doesn't matter. And pleasing people doesn't matter.

"Pleasing God, that's what really matters."

Copyright © 1997 by the author or Christianity Today International/Campus Life magazine. For reprint information call 630-260-6200 or e-mail clmag@CampusLife.net September/October 1997. Page 22

Read more from 'Bands & Artists'

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