Jaci Velasquez is standing next to her mother at a Fuddruckers restaurant in Richmond, Virginia. As Jaci skims the menu above the counter, she gives her mother a hug and kiss on the cheek. After we've placed our order, Mrs. Velasquez tells us to go ahead and find a seat. "I'll bring your food over when it's ready," she says.
Soon Jaci's mom shows up carrying our cheeseburger baskets and malts. She puts the food on the table and scurries off, looking for ketchup and other hamburger fixings.
As the 18-year-old Christian artist watches her mother walk across the restaurant, she smiles, then says, "You know, my mom is so good to me. She also kind of spoils me! … She really is the best friend I have."
It's no wonder Jaci's very close to bothof her parents. When she was 10, the Velasquez family sold their home in Houston, packed up the family car, and began a traveling music ministry across the Southwest. (The bilingual Velasquez family sang Christian music in both English- and Spanish-speaking churches.)
Up until three years ago, Jaci was homeschooled in that car, and, at times, she even spent the night sleeping in the back seat. It was "home sweet home" for the three of them.
"There were times we didn't have much money," says Jaci. "So we couldn't afford a hotel."
But that all changed when Jaci's amazing voice was discovered by the folks at Myrrh records. Soon Jaci and her family moved to Nashville, where the young artist began working on her first album, Heavenly Places. Released in '96, Heavenly Places has had five hit radio singles—an awesome accomplishment for any artist, let alone a brand new one. And last year, the Gospel Music Association gave her a Dove Award for "New Artist of the Year." Then, of course, there's her new album and a book, both due for release this spring.
I caught up with Jaci (and her mom) during her recent tour with Clay Crosse and Sunday Drive. While munching on burgers and sipping malts, Jaci and I (and her mom) talked about, yes, Jaci's close—and occasionally tense—relationship with her folks and, well, a whole lot more …
Campus Life:So what's been one of the biggest changes in your life lately?
Jaci: My 12 o'clock curfew!
CL:Your curfew?
Jaci: Yes. When I turned 18 my parents changed my curfew from 11 o'clock to midnight. It was great. … Do you want my potato wedges?
CL:Yeah, sure … Thanks. Now, talk to me about stuff like curfews. You sound like you're wanting a bit more independence these days.
Jaci: What teen doesn't? It seems like I rely on my folks for so much, and I just feel a need for more independence. You know, I've been so busy with music and touring, I haven't had time to get my driver's license! My parents have to take me everywhere! And then there's the telephone. I'll get on the phone and it seems Mom and Dad always want to know who I've been talking to.
Mrs. Velasquez:We don't ask all the time. It's just that, you know, we're curious. It's just kind of a natural question to ask.
Jaci:I do think I overreact. I mean, it's just that I need a little more privacy. … But the thing is, I love living with my parents. And I love having my mom on the road with me. I'd be lost without her. So I feel kind of torn between needing them and wanting them to treat me like an adult.
CL: Tell me about a time when you and your mom kind of "bumped heads" over something.
Jaci (laughing):Oh, we bump heads quite often. The last time we bumped heads was when I wanted to go somewhere with this friend of mine.
CL:Was this a guy?
Jaci: Yes, and I wanted to hang out with him for the evening, and my mom wouldn't let me. It made me so upset that I cried.
CL:So why wouldn't she let you go?
Mrs. V: Well, we had to leave for a concert trip around midnight, and I just thought she shouldn't go out before we left. Actually, it was kind of a mother's intuition thing. It just didn't seem like the best thing to do. As it turned out, the boy's car broke down while he was out driving that evening. If Jaci had been with him, she probably wouldn't have made it back in time. My intuition turned out to be right.
Jaci (smiling):She loves it when that happens! I guess she was right, but I was still mad at her.
CL:So, Jaci, how long did you stay mad at your mom?
Jaci: The next day I gave her the "silent treatment."
I wanted to see if she would talk to me first. And finally she says, "Are you going to be mad at me all day?" Well, I broke down and cried again, and said (putting on a whiny voice), "Oh, Mom!"
I think one of the things I struggle with is balancing the "mother-friend" thing. Sometimes I think she should just be "the friend," and suddenly she's "the mom." The reality is, her main responsibility is being my mother—not my friend.
Mrs. V:Jaci's expertise is singing; mine is being a mom. I know I'm not always correct, but I try my best …
Jaci:And I know she loves me.
CL:Jaci, let's shift gears here a little. What's the hardest thing about being a Christian artist? … Ooops—sorry for talking with my mouth full!
Jaci: I don't mind. We do it all the time at home! … The toughest thing right now is being away from home so much. I get homesick for Nashville. I want to be there with my dad and friends. I also have older brothers and a sister. I miss seeing them. And I miss my church a lot. Oh, and I miss my favorite mall!
Another thing that's difficult is trying to be happy when I don't feel happy. It seems like sometimes I force myself to put on a happy face, especially when I'm real tired.
CL:So do you feel like you're being insincere?
Jaci: I do worry about that. I guess I just have to keep looking to God, asking him to keep my motivation right. … I must always ask myself, "Who are you ultimately doing this for?" I really do want to do this for God. I don't ever want to come across as false or superficial.
You know, though, I may get tired at times, but I love what I do. I love meeting people and talking with them. I love singing. It's a dream I've had since I was a little girl.
Mrs. V:I remember when she was 3 years old, she wanted to record songs on a cassette because her daddy had his songs on tapes.
Jaci:My dad has been a big influence on me. Not only in music, though. I admire his generosity and kindness. And even though I get mad at my mom, I hope I can someday be the kind of mother she's been to me. I hope I'll have her beautiful personality. My parents are just great people. Now as for my brothers and sister, they're big pains (laughing).
CL:They're all quite a bit older than you, right?
Jaci: Yes, they are—they were all grown up and out of the house when my parents and I began traveling. … Anyway, they keep me humble.
CL:How so?
Mrs. V: The night Jaci won the Dove Award, they were all staying over at our house. The next morning they were all going, "OK, Jaci, there are all kinds of dirty dishes in the sink! It's your turn to wash!"
Jaci:It might have had something to do with the fact that I woke up going, "I'm a winner! I'm a winner!"
CL:So, Jaci, did you do the dishes?
Jaci: Yes I did.
Time to Go Shopping!
After lunch, with a few hours to go before the concert, Jaci has a great idea: "Let's shop!" So we all pile into my rental car and head over to the closest Pier 1 Imports. As Jaci moves about the store, she pauses to squeeze some plush stuffed animals and check out the prices on some "cool stuff."
After Jaci's wandered up and down nearly every aisle, she stops by the counter and buys a few candles (" … only 25 cents each … "). Then we head for Carpenter Center—the concert hall where Jaci and her mom think the concert will be held.
Wrong.
After making several frantic phone calls from a pay phone, we discover the concert will be held several miles away at a church in Mechanicsville. So off we go. When we finally arrive, Mrs. Velasquez heads off to finish up some final concert details. Jaci and I sit down and continue our conversation …
CL:Jaci, one of the groups sponsoring this tour is True Love Waits. And you have a song called "I Promise," about staying sexually pure. Talk to me about your commitment to sexual purity.
Jaci: I have personally committed myself to remain sexually pure until I'm married. It's not always easy to keep this commitment, but I believe God has someone very special for me. And I am willing to wait.
CL: You mentioned that it's not always easy. Yet with your music, you seem almost too busy to date a whole lot.
Jaci:Well, I do have some time. But my parents have been real strict about this. They wouldn't let me date until about a year ago. When I finally did get to date, it was so much fun, but I found myself experiencing these romantic feelings I've never felt before. So it was kind of scary, too. I know I must keep those feelings in check. I want to avoid making mistakes I'll regret later.
CL: How do you keep those feelings "in check"?
Jaci:It's important not too spend too much time alone with a guy I'm dating. So we'll plan to have dinner with friends, not just the two of us. We'll never spend too much time alone together in a car either. And passionate kissing is definitely out.
CL:Give me an example of a time you made a decision that helped you avoid a potentially bad situation.
Jaci: One time a guy I liked wanted to take me on a picnic up in some hills away from everything and everybody. It sounded so sweet and romantic. But the more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I became. It just seemed we'd be putting ourselves in a situation that could lead to some bad choices. Needless to say, I called off the picnic. …
To be honest, I really don't want to be in any kind of serious relationship right now. I'm just trying to grow up, and that's hard enough without complicating it with romance.
CL: Growing up can be tough, huh?
Jaci:Oh, yeah. I'm no superhuman. I make mistakes. I get mad at my mom, pout and even throw an occasional temper tantrum. I think I worry too much about my looks and my clothes. I do have some insecurities. … I'm just a girl who, for some reason, has had some wonderful opportunities brought her way.
I'm so thankful to God. Sometimes I feel so dumb, and so undeserving. But God can use any of us. He's using me, and I'm just so grateful.
So What's New?
New Book!This May, look for Jaci's book, A Heavenly Place (Simon and Schuster), in your local bookstore. What's it all about? "It's just about looking at life from my perspective—the perspective of a teenager," says Jaci. "I cover issues like sex, dating, self-esteem. I just want it to be honest and helpful."
New Album!Then in June, Jaci's second album (this one will be self-titled) is due for release. "One of my favorite songs on the new album is 'Paper Tiger,'" says Jaci. "It's all about making too much of our fears. … In my mind, I may think I have the biggest, scariest problem in the whole world. But in most cases, the problem really is just in my mind. It's only a 'paper tiger.' So why do I worry so much?"
Copyright © 1998 by the author or Christianity Today International/Campus Lifemagazine. For reprint information call 630-260-6200 or e-mail clmag@CampusLife.net March/April 1998. Page 18
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