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Close Encounters

Jennifer Knapp never knows where she might find a touch of God's grace.

by Elesha Hodge

Jennifer Knapp was playing a concert in a busy park near a bus station. Suddenly, she noticed an older woman working her way toward the stage.

The woman looked dirty; maybe she was homeless. And she seemed timid, like she didn't want to bother anyone. But she came closer and closer until she was face-to-face with Jennifer.

Jennifer kept playing, not knowing quite what to expect. Then the woman kissed her, right on the cheek.

Jennifer was stunned.

"My first fleshly thought was that I didn't want this lady to come near me," says Jennifer. "It was so hard, because she didn't smell good, and she definitely wasn't the type of person I'd choose to be kissed by. But it turned into such an emotional moment for me because I felt like the Spirit of God was saying to me, 'Whatever you've done for the least of these … now you know what it's like to be kissed by me.'"

This unusual incident happened last summer in the eastern European country of Estonia. Jennifer was there with Young River Ministries as part of an effort to help Estonian churches work together to impact their mostly unchurched country.

Because of the language barrier (the woman was Russian, living in Estonia), Jennifer couldn't ask her what she wanted. But later, through a translator, she learned why the woman was so interested in her. Jennifer reminded her of her daughter.

The woman's kiss put Jennifer's musical career in perspective. "It was just a good reminder of the whole reason why I started," she says. "Back in the States, you think about the selfish stuff you want [backstage] and how you're going to arrange autograph lines. Those concerns seem kind of embarrassing when you have a poor Russian woman kissing your face, so overwhelmed that she might have found her daughter."

Jennifer also remembers other times when God broke through to her in a powerful way, like the time he worked through a college dormmate to show her what Christian faith was all about.

When she started college, Jennifer was anything but Christian. "I was such a mess," she says. "I was battling alcoholism at the the time, smoking four packs of cigarettes a day, and cussing like a sailor." But no matter how many bad choices Jennifer made, the Christian girl across the hall kept trying, gently, to lead her to a better life.

"Day after day, despite what my attitude was or how mean I was to her, she just continued to show me the love of Christ and continued to speak the truth to me. She understood that a lot things I was choosing to do, and a lot of the sins I was committing, reflected a lack of understanding of how much God loved me. Little by little, I started to realize that God really did love me and that the sacrifice Christ made was just something I needed so desperately."

Jennifer had started college in August; she became a Christian in October. The year that followed was marked by a spiritual intensity she's never forgotten, though she used to fear she would.

"I was just so amazed by God's forgiveness and God's grace that I would be on my knees at night praying and crying to God, 'Please, don't ever let me not believe in you.' I was so afraid 'cause other people were watching me change, going 'Oh, this is just a fad; this isn't going to last. As soon as she realizes this is not real, she's gonna leave.' I just kept praying that wouldn't be the case."

More than five years later, Jennifer still hasn't left God's side. And now, she says, her struggles are a little different. She struggles to keep pride out of her ministry (though the sales and critical praise of her light rock album, Kansas, are definitely something a new artist could be proud of). She feels the strain of extensive touring. And she strives to live up to the example of the girl who led her to Christ—to be one of those people who reaches out with God's love and grace.

"I focus a lot on what I want to accomplish, as far as letting God do his work through me and my music, and being able to touch and minister to people," she says. "It's one of the huge driving forces behind why I do what I do. Because it's definitely not the money, and it's definitely not the fame. It's really just a matter of wanting to serve God."

Copyright © 1999 by the author or Christianity Today International/Campus Life magazine. For reprint information call 630-260-6200 or e-mail clmag@CampusLife.net.
January/February 1999, Vol. 57, No. 6, Page 24

Read more from 'Bands & Artists'

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