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From the pages of Christian Parenting Today, Sept/Oct 1998
SINGLE PARENTING
B A R B A R A S C H I L L E R
End-of-the-Month Worries
When you have more bills than money
Sudden panic jolted
my heart. No matter how I divided my income for the month, I realized I didn't
have enough to pay my bills. The queasiness in my stomach didn't help matters
either. I slumped down and leaned my head against the desk chair and closed
my eyes.
Nikolas's emergency surgery on his forearm I obviously had not anticipated.
How could a "simple" broken arm from playing basketball turn into a seven-day
hospital ordeal and surgery? Worry had woven its sticky web around my heart.
A loud knock on my kitchen door bolted me upright. Through the window, I
saw a neighbor boy. I opened the door and asked impatiently, "What's wrong?"
"There's a dead bird in your flower garden," he exclaimed. "He hit your living
room window!"
Amid the begonias lay a tiny brown sparrow. I picked it up. I marveled how
warm this little sparrow felt, and I felt overwhelmed with emotion.
"Mrs. Schiller," the boy quietly asked, "are you okay?"
"Yes," I replied, "even God takes care of little sparrows."
The boy scratched his head and walked away.
I went to the back of the house, leaned against the wall, slid down, and
sat on the grass. No longer able to contain what I felt, I burst into tears.
As I cried, God in his unending faithfulness brought Matthew 10:29-31 to
my mind:
"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to
the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of
your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many
sparrows."
How many times, Lord, do I need to be reminded of this reality? I
shrugged my shoulders. Probably until I see You face to face. Will I ever
learn?
Memories filled my soul as I recalled God's faithfulness to my family over
the years. Thankfully his patience also never ceases.
"I do believe;
help me overcome
my unbelief"
is the cry
of my heart.
I remembered a time when I faced a money shortage at the end of the month.
On a bleak, rainy evening I turned to Matthew 6:33: "Seek first his kingdom
and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
I wanted so much to take God at his word, but I chose instead to worry. As
I lay on my bed, the Lord in his patience brought to mind the story of the
father with the demon-possessed son. When he asked Jesus to heal his son,
Jesus said all things are possible for those who believe. The father's response
melted my heart: "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief" (Mark 9:24).
That was and still is the cry of my heart.
We need to grasp God's grace as we struggle with unbelief. Are you wrestling
today with out-of-control worry? Unsure how you will pay back-to-school bills?
Take your worries to him. He cares beyond words and truly, profoundly
understands.
You may need to ask someone for help. We are created to be in relationship
with one another. We need each other. Shame is a paralyzing emotion. God
may want to fulfill his promise through others.
Journal your worries and date them. In time, the Lord's faithfulness will
shine forth.
When the neighbor boy returned the next day, I happened to be outside. "Mrs.
Schiller, what happened to that bird?"
"I buried him in the garden."
He had a quizzical look on his face. "What did you mean God takes care of
little sparrows?"
I smiled and shared with him what God had shared with me. I tousled his hair.
"Even the hairs on your head are numbered," I said.
His eyes twinkled, and he became still. I heard him mumble, "Awesome."
That is what the Lord will be for you.
Barbara Schiller is the executive director of Single Parent Family Resources www.singleparentfamilyresources.com. To respond, e-mail bschil4150@aol.com
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Sept/Oct 1998, Vol.11, No. 1, Page 60
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