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Our intrepid pollsters, abacus boards in hand, have been galloping from church to church in quest of the answer to the pressing question: "Who is the least appreciated and most abused member of the local church staff?."

The results are shocking. Not the senior minister. Not the minister of music. Not even the youth pastor.

Ready? It's the church custodian, janitor, or building superintendent, depending on the size of the church. (Megachurches have Edifice Engineers.) The one who keeps the premises tidy is criticized the most and thanked the least.

This being the case, we're starting a cutting-edge new ministry just for their encouragement. We're calling it Premise Keepers, and its purpose is simply to let church janitors know that they're loved, honored, but rarely obeyed. Being together with thousands of their fellow janitors will assure them that they aren't alone in their never-ending battle against nasty bugs, dirty rags, burned-out plugs, and long weddings.

Our first giant rally will be held in Racine, Wisconsin, at the Johnson Wax Company auditorium, presenting a program with a lot of polish. Keynote speaker will be Dickie Donn Gaston, church janitor for 43 years at First Community Church, Lands End, Missouri. He has lived through nearly 600 weddings, 500 funerals, 40 vacation Bible schools (for three years be refused to unlock the church), and 32 pastors. With him will be James Duncan, who has served as chairman of the church board of trustees during all of Dickie Donn's ministry. Dickie Donn is the only church janitor to receive an honorary degree from a seminary, a Doctor of Utters.

Music for the rally will be provided by The Musical Moppers, a unique sextet whose songs have been sweeping the country. Their hit song "Bristle While You Work" has been heard on Christian radio stations across America.

Premise Keepers is an idea whose time has come, and we hope you will come, if you are among the abused. We'll send you details later; but in the meantime, keep looking down-the job you save may be your own.

THE CULTURAL CAPTIVITY OF THE PROTESTANT CHURCH

"Selling Out the House of God?" [July 18] demonstrated a noted blindness on the part of mainstream evangelical critics. The precision with which the mote was detected should have been directed toward the beam. The cultural captivity of the Protestant church in general could be well examined by most of the points raised by the theological critics of Bill Hybels and Willow Creek Church. It seems to me that Willow Creek is only the logical and consistent extension of several centuries' worth of Protestant assumptions.

Worship within mainstream evangelical Protestantism is of a piece with Enlightenment culture. Any unbelieving secularist from off the street can walk into a modem evangelical church and know precisely what to do. The worship cults of mainstream evangelicalism, while sometimes boring, is never foreign. If David Wells is correct, and culture is not neutral, then we can likely postulate that modern evangelicalism is captive to some version of American culture. I would argue that modem evangelicalism's revivalist roots are little more than the theological expression of an American anthropology.

There is a need for a serious self criticism within modern evangelicalism of its relationship to culture and its justification for its present form.

- Stephen Freeman, Rector

Saint Stephen's Episcopal Church

Oak Ridge, Tenn.

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Some people just don't get it. They do not understand the energy, the drive, the motivation. Willow Creek Community Church is a manifestation of many different things to many different people. To lost and searching souls, it is a beacon of light and hope. To the wounded and hurting, it is a spiritual hospital and a safe environment where healing can be accomplished. It is a place where people gather faithfully to praise and worship God. It could also be argued that it is a grand celebration of the grace and glory of Jesus Christ.

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September 12 1994, Vol. 38, No. 10