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Fatherhood Aborted

The hidden trauma of men and abortion and what the church can do about it.

Ryan thought that "it would make everyone miserable" if his girlfriend kept the baby. When Tammy had the abortion, they both felt relieved, but broke up right away.

Ryan was devastated. "I can't get Tammy and the baby out of my mind," he lamented. "I see babies everywhere, and they all seem to look at me like they know what I did wrong. I see little boys with their parents, and it hurts so much. I just want to crawl in a hole and die." He admits that he encouraged Tammy to get the abortion because he cared about "what other people thought." For Ryan, the other people included his Christian parents, the kids at the Christian school where he coached basketball, and the people at his church.

In a similar situation, Richard was in high school, growing up in a Christian home, and serious about wanting to follow the Lord. He knew it was wrong to have sex with his girlfriend and, in fact, the couple said prayers of repentance together after it happened. Since they only had sex once, neither of them thought she would get pregnant. But she did. He found out from his girlfriend's mother that she was planning to have an abortion, and the couple soon broke up. But for Richard, it took 15 years and becoming the father of three more children to comprehend the reality of that event. "It wasn't a problem that was aborted, it was my child. I wanted to be a good father, but even before I had begun, I had failed my first son."

As someone in his late twenties, Chris was hopeful about his relationship with Elise. They were going to church together and involved with a career group Bible study. "We even studied The Celebration of Discipline together, and I was trying to take the lead spiritually." They never planned it, but sex just seemed to happen. ...

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Christianity Today
Fatherhood Aborted
hide thisDecember 9 December 9

In the Magazine

December 9, 1996

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