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And dating, Hitt says, is these days "understood as little more than the discovery period before the big merger." In the context of this privatized understanding of marriage, in which the institution is valued for its tax value and its health-insurance implications, it is no wonder that gay activists are making their bid for its benefits. If marriage is merely the private choice of two individuals to enter into an intimacy contract, why not let everyone in on the act?

But marriage is more than that. It is more than merely personal. It is more than a contract. It is more than the legitimization of intimacy. And it is a heck of a lot more than health insurance and jointly filed tax returns. Marriage is a modeling of Christ's love for the church: not as a theological object lesson but as a lived-out parable of the principles that undergird the universe. Marriage is the one arena in which everyone can make a significant contribution to society, for even those who do not marry or do not bear children promise to uphold the marriages they witness. To be married is to ask for an invasion of your privacy.

What is truly frightening is the degree to which the church has adjusted to this current privatized concept of marriage. Fortunately, pockets of resistance exist in which church and community share in the preparation of couples (CT, Jan. 10, p. 36). But far too many churches fail to help their members think through the theology implicit in their commitment—particularly in its communal dimension.

When Californians passed Proposition 22 they offered the barest definition of marriage. (It's between a man and a woman.) Such a minimalist definition may be all the state can do, but the church needs to put forward an understanding of this divine institution in all its heady fullness.

First Things has a review of From Sacrament to Contract, which can be purchased at the Christianity Online store or other book retailers.

Jack Hitt's essay in the March 19, 2000, issue of The New York Times Magazine, "Marriage Á la Market," is still available online.

About.Com has a page of links about the history of marriage.

For more information, read ChristianityToday.com's news articles about California's Proposition 22 and Vermont's "civil unions" bill, a January editorial about fighting divorce, and our sister publication Marriage Partnership.

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April 24 2000, Vol. 44, No. 5