4 of 4

• With churches of attendance of at least 1,000, the percentage rises to 65.

Many believe a church's offering a divorce support group may be as important as the good actually accomplished. It communicates to divorced people that they are welcome.How well do the churches represented in the survey respond? One out of five subscribers know his or her church has a divorce support group for adults. Only 1 out of 20 know it has a support group for children of divorced parents.

• Twenty-one percent of divorced persons felt supported or strongly supported by their churches during divorce.
• Sixty percent felt such support from family.

Half of all divorced respondents said their church sent mixed messages of support and disapproval. While 34 percent said they felt their churches were "supportive" or "strongly supportive," 8 percent were disfellowshiped or excommunicated.Perhaps a reason for the mixed signals lies in a perennial tension. The apostle John declared our Lord "full of grace and truth" (John 1:14). Of all the tensions, this is perhaps the greatest. People who are strong for truth concerning divorce and remarriage often lack grace. Those who deal compassionately with human weakness often seem to pass lightly over the standard. This sometimes expresses itself in feuds between teachers in seminaries or Bible schools, who argue for adherence to the standard, and pastors and counselors, who may err on the side of acceptance.Instead, as Jesus demonstrated with the woman taken in adultery in John 8, we need both high standards and ready compassion. Jesus rebuked the scribes and Pharisees. Yet he also told the woman, "Go, and do not sin again." He showed both grace and truth. When the divorced and remarried come knocking on our church doors, as they have and surely will, our ministry cannot do without either.This article originally appeared in the December 14, 1992 issue ofChristianity Today.

Then, as now, Haddon Robinson was professor of homiletics at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary in South Hamilton, Massachusetts.

Other stories from the 1992 CT Institute on divorce and remarriage include:CT Institute: Divorce and Remarriage | An introduction to our 1992 series on what divorce means for families, churches, and our country. A Marriage Counterculture | In addressing divorce, the church must adopt the strategies of the missionary. By David Seamands Divorce and Remarriage from Augustine to Zwingli | How Christian understanding about marriage has changed—and stayed the same—through history. By Michael Gorman Can One Become Two? | What Scripture says about Christians and divorce. By H. Wayne House Remarriage: Two Views | Two New Testament professors debate whether remarriage is acceptable for Christians. By Craig Keener and William A. Heth How Not to Fail Hurting Couples | We need a kind of shock therapy to become alert to missed opportunities. By Thomas Needham Becoming a Healing Community | How the church can develop a climate of help to the hurting.

Copyright © 2004 Christianity Today. Click for reprint information.

first page |  4 of 4

share this page

August (Web-only) 2000, Vol. 44