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These questions lead us to withhold judgment in many cases; but more telling yet is this question: Did the individual aim at removing himself from God's goodness by suicide? Was this an act of suicide directly aimed at saying no to God? Or was it rather a tragically misguided attempt at saying yes to God? Eternal punishment is reserved, Christians believe, for those who directly reject God and reject God as a consistent pattern in life, not merely in a solitary final act. Every suicide is not a rejection of God's goodness. Indeed, in many cases suicide is mistakenly chosen to bring one nearer to God. We cannot say that such a motive for suicide is correct. Nor can we say that a person who makes this tragic mistake has removed herself forever from the grace of God.

When I comes to dealing with suicide, the church must do more than teach about it, for the church's primary task is to be the people of God.

First of all, the church must commit itself to being a community of truth, a community in which believers tell the truth about their own lives. A church must hear the stories of pain, suffering, and failure in the lives of its members; and those who tell the stories must receive from the church both lamentation and the healing balm of Christ. When the church is open and honest about pain and suffering, it can then confront in love even the most difficult of human crises and failures--suicide.

Second, the church must commit itself to being a community of love, not quick to judge. Since suicide often brings with it the stigma of "unpardonable sin" and feelings of shame and guilt for the surviving family members, those currently free of pain must welcome those who suffer in the name of Christ; and with the aid of the Holy Spirit, they must place themselves at one another's disposal. A church might well have a team ministry to contact and inquire daily about those who are troubled. A church might also designate certain gifted individuals to whom one might turn in distress. A community of love bears patiently with those who contemplate suicide and those who grieve and feel guilty as a result of suicide.

Third, the church must commit itself to being a community of joy, a community in which the new life of Christ is celebrated, a community that calls others to celebrate in the new life of Christ. By living as a community of joy, by regularly celebrating God's goodness to us in Jesus Christ, the church ministers to those who are saddened, joyfully acquainting them with the One who has known their sorrows.

My student friend seems to be doing well these days. This is due in no small part to the fact that she worships in a church that has been a community of truth, a community of love, and a community of joy. I am not sure she is able to give a clear theological explanation of her troubles; but I do think she know that her life is worthwhile. And this, with the Holy Spirit's aid, will sustain her.

This article originally appeared in the March 20, 1987, issue of Christianity Today. At the time, Thomas D. Kennedy was visiting assistant professor of religion at Hope College in Holland, Michigan. He is now associate professor of philosophy at Valparaiso University in Valparaiso, Indiana.

See also today's other stories on suicide, " Suicide—A Preventable Tragedy?A ministry helps churches handle the complex issue" and " Is Suicide Unforgivable?What is the biblical hope and comfort we can offer a suicide victim's family and friends?"

"The Surgeon General's Call to Action to Prevent Suicide" is available online.

For more on Saint Augustine and his writings visit the classic texts at the University of Wisconsin Milwaukee.

For a summary of Saint Thomas Aquinas's life and work link to this Catholic Archdiocese of the Internet site.

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July (Web-only) 2000, Vol. 44