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The church is important, and even when pastors refer a suicidal person elsewhere, the person will often come back to the church.

Certain groups, including teenagers, white males, and the elderly, are at higher statistical risk for suicide. The National Center for Injury Prevention and Control rates suicide as the third-leading cause of death in the age bracket of 15 to 24. People younger than 25 accounted for 15 percent of all suicides in 1997.

White males accounted for 72 percent. In fact, males are actually four times as likely to die from suicide than females--but females are more likely to attempt suicide. In both males and females, suicide rates increase with age and are highest among Americans age 65 and older.

Nevertheless, suicide affects people of all races, ages, and walks of life. The factors leading to suicide are varied--undiagnosed depression, feelings of inadequacy, hopelessness and loneliness, alcohol or substance abuse.

When early warning signs appear, churches are in a unique position to connect people with people. Signs that should be taken seriously include withdrawal from friends and once-enjoyable activities, persistent sadness and hopelessness, indecision, lack of concentration, poor self-esteem, anger, and rage. When a person exhibits such behavior, church members do well to approach the depressed person and offer supportive comments--

"I'm praying for you. I know this must be a hard time for you."

"People who are suicidal are great actors," Weber says. " If they don't want a pastor to know, it's out of your hands. But if you pick up on the signs, invite them in and listen. Let them talk about their pain."

SPS teaches a specific response called Question, Persuade, and Refer. The first step:

"You ask people very specific questions about how they're feeling, what they're thinking," Miller says.

"You can't plant the idea of suicide--if it's there, it's there. But you cut through the shame when you talk about it."

Miller asks questions like

"Are you considering suicide?" and "Do you think about it a lot? How often?"

Second, persuade the person to get help--to make another plan amid depression, to go to an emergency room or call in family members, depending on the severity of the situation.

Third, refer the person to available resources--a local crisis line, a medical professional, or support groups.

Weber also recommends accompanying the depressed person to the first counseling session.

"Say, 'I'll pick you up and take you,' " she says.

Follow-up is key, and not just with those considering suicide. Survivors also need continued support, which SPS board member Barb Stidwell knows all too well. Her 16-year-old daughter, Meg, committed suicide in the summer of 1995. Stidwell says she could never have endured this experience without God and her church.

"I've only seen that kind of love in Christians, that long-term support," she says. "At work, for instance, people were acting like I should move on six months later."

But Stidwell, like Weber, also saw the awkwardness of many Christians' responses to suicide.

"We'd have people over for dinner who wouldn't even acknowledge that my daughter died," she says. Stidwell also discovered that many people simply do not know what to say. "As a Christian, you don't have to have the right words," she says.

"Just say, 'I'm sorry, that's a terrible tragedy.' We need to get to the point where people understand the sorrow without being judgmental."

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June 12 2000, Vol. 44, No. 7