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Adult children of divorce live in a deep chasm between hope and fear. They are very pro-marriage. They hope deeply for what they have been denied. But for them, successful marriage is like a UFO sighting: they've heard reports and seen grainy photos but have never experienced the fact of it. They know they could find rich happiness in marriage, but they also know they could find great pain if the almost inevitable force of history repeating itself is true.

This provides a wonderful opportunity for Christ's church to show one of the largest generations in history that the desire for marriage is good and realistic. Older couples who have successfully navigated 30 or more years of marriage are the church's best tool for this work. They, better than anyone else, possess the valuable and hard-won skills to build a successful marriage and, more importantly, the testimony that it is possible. The wisdom of age could guide the hope of youth, couple by couple. These older couples could bring this family revolution, begun by their own children, full circle so their grandchildren and great-grandchildren can live a happier, healthier, more abundant life.

Glenn T. Stanton is the executive family editor for Christianity.com and the author of Why Marriage Matters: Reasons to Believe in Marriage in Postmodern Society (PiÑon).

Copyright © 2001 Christianity Today. Click for reprint information.

Maggie Gallagher's opinion columns are archived at Townhall.com, where she writes about politics, reality TV, public prayer, and other topics.

Linda J. Waite's bio is available from the University of Chicago, where she is a professor of sociology. She also wrote an interesting op-ed piece for The New York Times saying conservatives should be more supportive of the Clinton marriage.

Read highlights of Waite's program research in "Changing Demographic Patterns in the United States."

Judith S. Wallerstein is a senior lecturer emerita at the School of Social Welfare at the University of California at Berkeley.

Read the transcript of a PBS Newshour interview with Wallerstein discussing The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce.

Both Waite and Wallerstein are on the Research Advisory Board of the National Marriage Project.

Sandra Blakeslee, a science writer for The New York Times and Wallerstein have authored several books together, including The Good Marriage and Second Chances.

Purchase The Case for Marriage: Why Married People are Happier, Healthier, & Better Off Financially from the ChristianityToday.com bookstore and other book retailers. The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25-Year Landmark Study is available at Amazon.com and elsewhere.

For more of Christianity Today's coverage of marriage and divorce issues, see our Family area. Marriage Partnership, one of our sister publications, also has many articles and resources.

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February 5 2001, Vol. 45, No. 2