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High Fidelity 's ruminations on art and meaning are best summed up by the carefully designed "mix tape," a collection of songs that lovelorn Rob (John Cusack) makes for a girlfriend. For him, inarticulate in the language of love, the tape is a chance to use other people's poetry to express his own heart. This idea resonates strongly with me, because I find that quite often God uses other people's artistry—quite often in movies—to express his heart to me. A year-end look at the films most important to me always exhibits strong ties to what God's been teaching me, so I'm going to share the other nine films that made my year by detailing recent portions of my spiritual journey.

I began the year with a growing fascination with church history, particularly the stories of saints, after seeing last year's The Messenger. My interest was again piqued by The Third Miracle, a modern-day story about a priest (Ed Harris) who investigates nominees for sainthood. He's known as the miracle-killer (since most of his subjects turn out to be frauds) and the pain of taking away a community's hope has withered his faith. In short, he's in the position many Christians find themselves in this age of technological miracles, asking if God is really at work in the world. The priest's rediscovery that, yes, God is, leads him to fight for the sainthood of his latest subject—which gave me a new vantage point on my studies. I had been focusing simply on the person at hand, but afterward I tried harder to understand the community the saint lived in, since sainthood isn't solely about an individual's merit but a communal declaration that God is indeed at work among us.

In my readings I came across the rule of St. Benedict, which says we should "receive everyone as Christ"—a phrase that stuck with me because I felt untrained in hospitality. After seeing Where the Heart Is, in which a pregnant and abandoned teenager (Natalie Portman) is befriended and housed by a stranger, I felt even more sure that I was missing out. My life was filled with all sorts of good tasks but not the free time necessary to make room for people's needs. I wasn't quite sure where to begin restructuring my time, but soon I saw Erin Brockovich, which gave me inspiration. Although Erin (Julia Roberts) and her lawsuit are the primary focus of the film, I was equally intrigued by Erin's boyfriend, George (Aaron Eckhart). He takes care of her kids while she's off gathering evidence and talking to witnesses because his decision to live simply and work only when he needs to gives him the freedom to become involved in her life. This planted the seed for my desire to work as a freelancer rather than on salary, something my employer is willing to work out with me in the coming year.

But making room for hospitality and practicing it are two different things, and this fall I was encouraged to take the next step when I saw Pay It Forward. The movie outlines a plan by grade-school boy (Haley Joel Osment) to change the world by doing three big favors for people—something they can't do themselves—and instead of accepting payback ask that they pass on such favors. My critic's mind was uncomfortable with the film's use of charity almost as a religion itself, rather than springing from a context of faith, but I nevertheless decided to take its challenge. It's more difficult than it sounds; the biggest need I encountered was babysitting our small-group leaders' five-month-old twice a week, but it doesn't even meet the criteria of something they couldn't take care of themselves. Nevertheless, it was a big step simply to have looked for someplace to show love, and has been what I've enjoyed most this year. Church has become more of a community to me since making my life more available.

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January (Web-only) 2001, Vol. 45