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To be honest, I myself sometimes have a hard time loving the sinner while hating the sin. Sometimes this takes the form of self-hate, but more often I struggle with hating promiscuous heterosexual men, because they seem so self-justifying and because some people—even some Christians—seem so accommodating of that sin while so condemning of mine. Just last week I was talking with a Christian friend about concerns I had for members of our youth group. His response was something like, "Well, you know, with all those hormones … " I don't get it. Do young male heterosexuals benefit from some sort of special dispensation? Why is their giving in to their urges so understandable while my giving in to mine would be such an abomination?

The debate on homosexuality is tearing at the fiber of almost every mainline Christian denomination, while also leaving many of us who actually are homosexual feeling misunderstood, marginalized, and ignored by the "dialogue."

I am not trying to argue in favor of my homosexuality, but to simply acknowledge the reality of my condition. I am broken, and I acknowledge my homosexuality as a manifestation of this brokenness. But I do not believe I am any more broken than the person who sits in the pew next to me. The greedy, the liars, the drunkards, and the single yet sexually active heterosexuals—they all share in equal portion with me in this brokenness.

Sin is sin, and grace is grace. We are all sinners and we all—whether heterosexual or homosexual—are offered the same grace. Ours is no easy victory. It would be a whole lot easier if our churches would try to understand, and accept, those like me who claim victory nonetheless.

The author lives in the western United States.

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A ready-to-download Bible Study on this article is available at ChristianBibleStudies.com. These unique Bible studies use articles from current issues of Christianity Today to prompt thought-provoking discussions in adult Sunday school classes or small groups.

Other articles on homosexuality are available in our Sexuality and Gender area.

Earlier Christianity Today articles about compassion for homosexuals include:

Ex-Gay Sheds the Mocking Quote MarksThe retiring head of Exodus says gay transformation ministries are more respected and effective than ever. (January 7, 2002)

Walking in the TruthWinning arguments at church conventions is not enough without compassion for homosexuals. (Sept. 4, 2000)

Building a BridgeA gay journalist and evangelical pastor correct their mutual misperceptions. (July 13, 2000)

The Jerry We Never KnewHe hangs out with liberal pundits and gay activists. Is this the same Jerry Falwell who founded the Moral Majority? (May 2, 2000)

Sex and SaintsA new vocabulary for an oversexualized culture. (Apr. 3, 2000)

Building outreach and friendship with the homosexual communityWhat Jerry Falwell really said at the Anti-Violence Forum. (Nov. 5, 1999)

Just Saying 'No' Is Not EnoughHow should Christians address homosexuality? (Oct. 4, 1999)

Who Killed Matthew Shepard?Human nature being what it is, we can too easily cross the line between hating the sin and hating the sinner. (Dec. 7, 1998)

Revelation and Homosexual ExperienceCan it be said of us that we surprise others by the sympathy and compassion we extend toward homosexuals? (Nov. 11, 1996)

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March 11 2002, Vol. 46, No. 3