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Crabb supports a wife's submission, but he defines it as the wife's "liberty to use who she uniquely is to further God's purposes for her husband." This means that "disagreement with her husband may at times be a godly response," he says, adding that husbands do the same for their wives. He wants to see his wife's gifts released, but he also wants to help her serve God with her femininity. We can't deny the "clear distinctions between men and women," he says. "Instead, we ought to celebrate them."

The other key to marital success is found in the Trinity, Crabb says. "There's such a radical other-centeredness and simply no competition in the Trinity. The Spirit is always talking about Jesus, Jesus is revering the Father, and the Father is always honoring the Son. When I'm not getting my way, then I must recognize that my energy of angry, competitive maneuvering is coming from some source that is illegitimate that reflects my non-Trinitarian fallenness."

This is what we all—egalitarians, complementarians, and those in between—can recognize. When we do that, our marriages just might look remarkably alike.

Agnieszka Tennant is an associate editor of CT.

Copyright © 2002 Christianity Today. Click for reprint information.

A ready-to-download Bible Study on this article is available at ChristianBibleStudies.com. These unique Bible studies use articles from current issues of Christianity Today to prompt thought-provoking discussions in adult Sunday school classes or small groups.

Also appearing on our site today:

Adam and Eve in the 21st CenturyWhen it comes to gender roles, CT readers oscillate between complementarian and egalitarian ideas.

CT Classic: Adam and Eve in AmericaIn 1990, readers first revealed what they thought it means to be created male and female.

CT Classic: Can We Talk?We may never resolve all our differences about women in leadership, but we can help each other toward better understanding.

In preparation for this article, writer Agnieszka Tennant attended the annual conferences of Christians for Biblical Equality and The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood and wrote exclusive online dispatches from each:

A Different Kind of Women's LibA dispatch from the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood conference. (October 12, 2001)

Seahorses, Egalitarians, and Traditional Sex-Role ReversalA dispatch from the Christians for Biblical Equality conference. (July 11, 2001)

The Christians for Biblical Equality Web site has information on the organization, FAQs, and online resources such as free articles and its statement on biblical equality.

The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood's Web site has information on the organization, extensive resources, and 50 questions on manhood and womanhood.

Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood and Slave, Women and Homosexuals are available at Christianbook.com.

Men and Women: Enjoying the Difference is available used at Amazon.com.

Earlier Christianity Today articles on gender roles include:

The Next Christian Men's MovementJust because Promise Keepers no longer fills stadiums doesn't mean men's ministry is dead. Far from it. (Sept. 15, 2000)

What Has Gender Got to Do with It?Wesleyan-Holiness churches were led by women long before the rise of the modern women's movement. (Sept. 12, 2000)

A Woman's PlaceWomen reaching women is key to the future of missions. (Aug. 4, 2000)

Integrating Mars and VenusGender-based ministries may be effective, but are they biblical? (July 12, 1999)

Finding Power in SubmissionTwo feminist scholars write about women you'll recognize. (Apr. 27,1998)

Will Episcopalians Step into the 'Radical Center'?Homosexual ordination discussed, women's ordination mandated. (Sept. 1, 1997)

Presbyterian Groups Sever CRC TiesWomen's ordination splits two denominations. (Aug. 11, 1997)

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March 11 2002, Vol. 46, No. 3