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Max: I look at these shows a lot like the WWF: it's entertaining but it's not real. But the thing that concerns me is that this replaces real social groups. The danger here is when you start to get sucked into these things and it's the illusion of a social group. This is time that you could spend living or meeting somebody new. There is a danger and a temptation of living vicariously through these things. It is a little destructive for me, because I sit there and go, "That's totally what I thought about women. I'm not going to invest in a relationship because look how they act!"

Todd: These shows can make a Christian single think, "Man, I'm the only one who has these values." It can be depressing. It can also be sad when you see people who are living this way. It makes you feel bad that the myth of casual sex and shallow intimacy has been passed along.

Max: If we are not happy with these shows, then what would an episode of The Christian Bachelor look like?

Camerin: I don't know if it would be much different minus the sex. Any time a really nice, put-together Christian guy (which is a rare breed in Christian circles) comes into a circle of single people, it's kind of like The Bachelor. It's like all the women are vying for his attention.

Todd: In a way, a show like The Bachelor resembles the Christian concept of group dating—you have several people there who could be potentials and you weigh them out. But one difference is that group dating is more like window shopping where you feel out what works for you, what doesn't, and you learn what you want in a person.

But these current marriage shows are more akin to test driving. You have all these quick, mini-relationships to see how they go. You are kissing the potentials, being intimate, sharing yourself, and actually being in a relationship with several people at once to see which one wins out.

Camerin:  That mirrors our culture. People live together before they get married, they're sleeping together, they're seeing if it would work. What floors me about the Bachelor shows is that it all happens with several partners at once. I'd hope in a Christian version there would be less making out with more than one person. I'd like to think that there's more meaning in these intimate things than what we're seeing on these shows.

Max: I wonder why we would watch these shows at all, since they seem to differ so much from our experience.

Camerin: Just from some of the responses I've gotten from the Singles Channel recently, I think a lot of Christians aren't dating. And so, again, to call this a reality show is kind of laughable, because most of the Christians singles I know aren't dating period—let alone getting to whittle down all these eligible potential people. So maybe this is a way in which they vicariously see what it's like.

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February (Web-only) 2003, Vol. 47