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"I was very bad when I belonged to this group," Mateo said. "I couldn't stay that way. I had to seek God to keep going." His Christian life has not been easy. Guerrilla leaders imprisoned him still hold power. A comandante burned his Bible, which guerrilla leaders don't want him reading. The rebel leaders maintain that those in the guerrilla ranks can't be involved in religion, Mateo said, and once a person joins the insurgency, there's no turning back. Still, he takes risks to sneak away to fellowship with other Christians in the prison; a friend holds in safekeeping the Bible that fellow believers gave him to replace the one the comandante destroyed.

Mateo carries a heavy burden for his past deeds. "I feel deceived and bad," he said. "I lost my family and my wife. They could visit me here, but they're afraid to."

He struggles to survive in prison with no money; his family is too poor to send him any. He cried as he shared with a fellow ex-guerrilla his grappling with guilt and doubts fostered during his tenure in the ranks. He fights constant temptation to forget his woes through alcohol and has fallen to its allure. Mateo asked for prayer to surmount the dangers, difficulties and temptations he must face for the next 17 years he serves in prison.

But the ex-guerrilla raises his hands in praise as he worships with his fellow inmates. He eagerly participates in a Bible study on the Gospel of Matthew.

"That isn't a life for anybody," he said of his years as a guerrilla. "I wouldn't go back and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

"That didn't motivate me," he said. "I was looking for peace and found it in Christ."

Copyright © 2003 Compass Direct

Copyright © 2004 Christianity Today. Click for reprint information.

Also posted today is a story on the Bellavista Prison.

The Prison Fellowship International web site has more information.

More CT articles from Colombia include:

Kidnappers Release Two Christian Relief Volunteers in Colombia | Ransom demand paid for evangelical lawyer and businessman. (Jan. 05, 2004)

Colombian Rebels Kill Evangelical Pastors | Two church leaders ambushed in August. (Sept. 03, 2002)

Rebels Force Churches to Close in Colombia | Christians accused of political involvement in May 26 elections (May 16, 2002)

Missionaries Defy Terrorist Threat in Colombia | U.S. Embassy says North Americans are guerrilla targets. (April 30, 2002)

Missionaries May Be Target Of FARC Guerrillas | U.S. embassy in Colombia issues warning to missionaries and churches. (March 08, 2002)

New Tribes Missionaries Kidnapped in 1993 Declared Dead | Mission concludes Colombian guerrillas shot the three men in 1996. (Sept. 27, 2001)

Risking Life for Peace | Caught between rebels, paramilitaries, and crop-dusters, peacemaking Christians put their lives on the line in violent Colombia. (Sept. 07, 2001)

Hostage Pastor Released Unharmed In Colombia | Wife pledges to stay in Colombia because the kidnappers cannot stop the Lord's work. (Aug. 20, 2001)

CT articles on prison ministry include:

The Legacy of Prisoner 23226 | Twenty-six years after leaving prison, Charles Colson has become one of America's most significant social reformers. (July 29, 2001)

Prison Ministry in Mozambique | Missionary says women suffer grave injustices. (Aug. 4, 2000)

Setting Captives Free | It takes more than getting a woman inmate out of jail to turn her life around (Jan. 10, 2000)

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February (Web-only) 2004, Vol. 48