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A paranoid risk-assessment agent. A wild and crazy thrill-seeker. A romance that draws a worrywart into a world of extreme sports, dirty dancing, ferret-keeping, and opportunism. These elements should provide the opportunity for hilarious comedy.

But the screenwriter missed that opportunity. At least, that's what almost all religious press film critics are saying about Along Came Polly. Despite an all-star cast—Ben Stiller, Jennifer Aniston, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Debra Messing, Hank Azaria and Alec Baldwin—this comedy from the co-writer of Meet the Parents, John Hamburg, is the first disappointment of the new year.

"By looking at the poster … one would expect a breezy romantic comedy full of love, laughs and a ferret," says David DiCerto (Catholic News Service). "Hamburg delivers on the ferret. And though one out of three is not bad, the movie is."

Michael Elliott (Movie Parables) says, "The problem is not with the actors but with the material. There isn't that much for them to work with. The characters they're playing just aren't interesting. [Stiller and Aniston] are rather disappointing. They're simply doing shtick we've seen them do many times before."

Lisa A. Rice (Movieguide) condemns its "nasty scatological humor."

Phil Boatwright (Movie Reporter) says the film continues a trend in contemporary comedies, supplying "bathroom antics in place of wit."

Loren Eaton (Plugged In) says, "All the raunch and disrespect make the film's already ambiguous moral messages seem tacked on and insincere, and its mirth self-conscious and hollow."

"I'm confused," says Annabelle Robertson (Crosswalk). "Is the director four years old—or does he think we are? Because that's the only age group I know of (outside of Hollywood) which thinks potty humor is downright hilarious."

Taking a solitary stand in favor of the film, Gareth Van Kallenbach (Phantom Tollbooth) calls it "a funny and enjoyable comedy that should make you laugh and leave you with a smile."

Scowling, mainstream critics shake their heads and hurry off to the next movie in hopes of finding something better.

Critic wins a Datewith Tad Hamilton!

Michael Elliott (Movie Parables) is the first religious press critic to post a review of the new romantic comedy from Robert Luketic, the director of Legally Blonde. Win a Date with Tad Hamilton! features Blue Crush star Kate Bosworth and Topher Grace, the star of That 70s Show.

Elliott praises the cast and writes that love is "the heart of the film" and that it is "totally enjoyable." He is also pleased with the film's simple message: "Committing to another individual is a momentous step. We should make sure that our decision is based upon more than a superficial appreciation of how a person looks or appears."

Film Forum will feature more Christian press reviews of the movie next week.

Teacher's Pet unleashes rave reviews from religious press critics

Moving from Saturday morning cartoons to a big screen animated feature, Teacher's Pet grants Spot the talking dog his wish. A mad scientist genetically transforms the clever canine into a "real boy." But there's a problem—Spot lives his new human life in "dog years," so he's aging far too rapidly. With their faithful "fido" facing a swift decline, Spot's master and friends conspire to fetch him out of his ultimate makeover.

This family-friendly Disney feature has an impressive list of voice talents—Nathan Lane, Kelsey Grammer, Shaun Fleming, Debra Jo Rupp, David Ogden Stiers, and Jerry Stiller.

The reviews aren't bad either.

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January (Web-only) 2004, Vol. 48