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Only a handful of residents enjoy such consistent companionship. Many have survived all their friends and family. If they have children, they likely live at some distance. The sad fact is that two-thirds of all nursing home residents have no regular visitors at all.

Most people visit nursing homes reluctantly. The whiffs of urine that inevitably pervade such facilities, the monotonous cries for help, the faces frozen with despair or dementia can unsettle one's own psyche. We can't help wondering, Will that be me? Will I end up in a place like this? As the gap between your age and that of the average nursing home resident narrows, the question becomes persistent.

Christians with aging parents might ponder Jesus' provision for his mother, made in his own last extremity. "'Behold, thy mother!'" he tells his beloved disciple. "And from that hour that disciple took her into his own home." Money isn't mentioned, only the relationship.

Prudent financial planning is necessary, but money will not keep the body from wearing out. Nor can dollars defend against isolation and loneliness. Fair Acres' residents value above all companionship-someone to listen to their stories and tell them what's happening in the outside world. When you can't talk, you still want someone to hold your hand, watch the sun set or the rain fall, share a cookie, hum a tune, remember your birthday, hand you a Kleenex for your tears.

Relationships, even more than pension funds, require care and cultivation. Jesus taught that our heart and our treasure are found in the same location. Add value to your relationships every year, like an IRA contribution. Reach out to other people. Express gratitude to friends and family. And, even if it's hard, visit someone in a nursing home.

Virginia Stem Owens is a writer living in Huntsville, Texas. Her most recent book, which she wrote with her husband David, is Living Next Door to the Death House (Eerdmans, 2003).

Copyright © 2004 Christianity Today.Click for reprint information.

Virginia Stem Owens also wrote about her mother in the nursing home. Thanksgiving at Fair Acres | A meal with my mother and other nursing-home residents opened a small crack in their stony detachment, and gave a brief glimpse of the kingdom of heaven. (Nov. 17, 2000)

Other Christianity Today articles on caring for the elderly include:

The Heroism of Caregivers | PBS's sober documentary examines how families cope when loved ones can no longer care for themselves. (Oct. 10, 2002)

CT Classic: Muriel's Blessing | Despite the toll of his wife's Alzheimer's, a husband marvels at the mystery of love. (Feb. 09, 2004)

CT Classic: Living by Vows | As his wife suffered with Alzheimer's, Robertson McQuilkin said, "If I took care of her for 40 years, I would never be out of her debt." (Feb. 09, 2004)

Final Chapter | Robertson McQuilkin reflects on his wife's long battle with Alzheimer's. (Feb. 09, 2004)

Other Christianity Today stories from Owens include:

Good Friday | Part two of "The Great Reversal," a CT Classic article. (April 20, 2000)

Walking Where Lewis Walked | My reluctant entry into the world of pilgrimage. (Feb. 10, 2000)

The Fatted Faithful | Why the church may be harmful to your waistline. (Jan. 11, 1999)

Karla Faye's Final Stop | How my hometown deals with being the execution capital of the world. (CT, July 13, 1998)

Other Books & Culture stories from Owens include:

Death and Texas | How a self-styled "Community Conversation" turned into an anti-conversation carried on by an anti-community. (B&C, Nov/Dec. 2000)

What Shall We Do with Mother? | Poll your friends over fifty. Most of them are already wrestling with this question. (B&C, Jul/Aug 1999)

Grave Matters | I shouldn't have let my parents talk to those funeral salesmen unchaperoned. (B&C, Mar/Apr 1999)

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September 2004, Vol. 48, No. 9