"There's nobody so humorless as a devout atheist."

"I believe people have different ways of approaching the Word. For me, it's metaphor, written by people a long time after Christ died and interpreted by specific groups. I read the gospels that aren't included in the Bible. These make me feel good about calling myself a Christian."

"The most reliable manuscripts have the number as 666. There's no reason to change the text of the New Testament, and there's no reason to change the tattoos."

"If you vote for John Kerry this year, you need to repent or resign. You have been holding back God's church way too long. And I know I may get in trouble for saying that, but just pour it on."

"They are the Antichrist of the world."

Sources: Garrison Keillor in The Nation, Jane Fonda's quote in The Baltimore Sun is no longer available but was also quoted by WorldNetDaily, MTV.com on 666, Chan Chandler is also quoted by the Ashville, N.C. Citizen-Times, and Ken Salazar in the Rocky Mountain News.