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But I have little patience for taking biblical metaphors too far and giving one's relationship with God an air of irreverent chumminess. Somehow, the scenario in which "his princess" shaves her legs for a date with Jesus seems to leave little room for fear of God.

And consider how unhelpful this misreading must be to single women who are hormonally awake. The cruel message they get is: If Jesus is really your husband, what's your problem? Be satisfied!

The Bible is replete with breathtaking metaphors that hint at God's love for us. Thank God, we don't always take them to illogical ends: I've never heard a preacher take the Good Shepherd image to mean that God raises his children to ultimately kill and eat them.

So, yes, in addition to being the Shepherd, the Bread of Life, and the Vine, Jesus is, poetically speaking, the Bridegroom. And we—the church—are his bride.

But that doesn't mean I'll be getting into my wedding gown anytime soon. Not that it would fit.

Copyright © 2006 Christianity Today. Click for reprint information.

Previous "Taste and See" columns include:

To Russia with Fury | Sometimes charity means anger.(October 9, 2006)

What (Not All) Women Want | The finicky femininity of Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. (Aug. 10, 2006)

A Velveteen Apologetic | How two creatures dig a rabbit hole in my disbelief. (April 10, 2006)

What Would Jesus Buy? | Saving the world one cashmere sweater at a time. (Jan. 31, 2006)

Women and Gender in Medieval Europe: An Encyclopedia is available from amazon.com and other retailers.

The John Donne sonnet referred to above is "Batter My Heart."

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December 2006, Vol. 50, No. 12