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So Bill tells his kids something like this: "I could simply make a command decision here. But that is Roman Empire leadership, not Christian leadership. If I am going to lead this family in a truly Christlike way, I need to serve you. I need to involve you in the decision-making process, so that you know your needs are being taken seriously and you have a real voice."

Fortunately, Bill has a healthy, functioning family, and in laying down his power to command and instead taking up the yoke of service before his children, Bill finds that their resistance eases. Instead of thinking about how they can defend their own interests, the children join with their mother and father and start thinking about how everyone's best interests and God's kingdom could be served. When their conversation takes this turn, it ensures that no matter what they decide, the servanthood and love they have shown one another will create conditions for family unity for a long time to come, whatever the setting.

Copyright © 2006 Christianity Today. Click for reprint information.

David P. Gushee is Graves Professor of Moral Philosophy at Union University. His books include Only Human: Christian Reflections on the Journey Toward Wholeness, Getting Marriage Right, and he is coauthor of Kingdom Ethics Following Jesus in a Contemporary Context. His columns for Christianity Today include:

Our Missing Moral Compass | Christianity is more than an event, an experience, or a set of beliefs. (Nov. 14, 2005)

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January 2006, Vol. 50, No. 1