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Seriousness isn't the problem for me and most of my single sisters. A large part of the problem is found in two statistics: According to Barna research, there are between 11 and 13 million more born-again women than born-again men, and according to 2000 U.S. Census findings, there are 86 unmarried men for every 100 unmarried women. Meaning? As a single Christian woman, there are less marital options out there for me to get serious about. I have a feeling the new growing demographic of still-single women is more due to those realities than to our viewing singleness as an amazing gift or to any lack of seriousness about marriage. As such, Getting Serious About Getting Married feels like140 pages extolling the virtues of food to hungry people, then 30 pages of unrelatable and unrealistic advice on where to find this fabulous sustenance.

For many of us, singleness is a default reality. Besides praying for revival of the single men of our generation and doing our best to meet the good, godly men who are out there, we're left trying to make the most of this life stage, trying to find contentment in any and every situation, as Paul encourages (Philippians 4:11-12). In this process of trying to allow God's redemptive work in this sometimes-unwanted life stage, voices such as Maken's in Getting Serious About Getting Married sabotage our quest for godly purpose and hope. Most of us still-singles aren't trying to glorify singleness but to redeem it from second-class citizenship, to remind ourselves and our family-centric churches that God loves, values, and wants to work through all his kids—whether married or single. If we're going to get serious about some of these difficult singleness realities, and I think we should, why can't we also get realistic, accurate, and gracious?

Camerin Courtney is managing editor of Today's Christian Woman, columnist at ChristianSinglesToday.com, and co-author of The Unguide to Dating: A He Said/She Said on Relationships.

Copyright © 2006 Christianity Today. Click for reprint information.

Getting Serious About Getting Married is available from Christianbook.com and other book retailers.

More information is available from Crossway books.

Debbie Maken's articles, Rethinking the Gift of Singleness, available from Boundless.org and How Churches Have Failed Singles, available from Beliefnet discuss the ideas in her book.

Candice Z. Watters takes another view of the book in her discussion at Boundless.org.

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June (Web-only) 2006, Vol. 50