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A "military-friendly" church acknowledges, publicly, in church publications and from the lectern, that members of the church are in the military and their service is appreciated by the church. Some churches have prayer teams specifically for the purpose of praying for the military. Other churches list the names of those serving in the military in their Sunday bulletins. Some churches have pictures of those serving in the military on a display board in the Fellowship Hall or lobby. Many churches project the pictures of those serving overseas on a screen in the sanctuary before and/or after services, to raise awareness.

2. Reach out to military families. Treat the military family of a soldier serving in combat as you would any family in crisis. Many of the skills learned in ministering to families who have been through a significant crisis apply to a military family during a combat deployment. A gentle ministry of presence that lets the family know the church wants to walk with them through the long days and nights of separation will be greatly appreciated. A periodic phone call from a pastor , elder, deacon, or Stephen minister to offer support and a listening ear is helpful. Practical helps from offering to change the oil on family cars to helping with yard work all combine to help the family with the crushing responsibilities they face when their soldier is gone.

Youth pastors and children's ministers can have a very wonderful ministry reaching out to the children of service members. The children struggle with the trauma of separation from their loved one and the stress of being home "alone." A caring, consistent outreach to them will be a great source of comfort to the children, the soldier, and spouse.

3. Reach out to the deployed soldier. There is nothing like getting snail mail from home. If the church mails the bulletin weekly, it will be doing a wonderful service. If the pastor sends a handwritten note, it is fresh water in the desert, literally. If the Sunday school, the men's group, the women's Bible study and other groups in the church take turns sending a care package and note, the soldier will feel he or she is loved, valued, and not forgotten.

4. When the soldier returns, welcome them home. A simple acknowledgement in the church bulletin or newsletter is wonderful. With the consent of the soldier and his/her family, a public welcome home, with an announcement from the lectern on Sunday morning is helpful. The offer to babysit the children so a couple can go out, several weeks after the soldier returns, would be a great practical help.

By welcoming the soldier home and acknowledging the sacrifice their family has made, the church will validate their shared struggle and affirm their service.

5. Support beyond the yellow ribbon. If the church thinks of the service member and his or her family as people who have just survived a fire, it will guide efforts to help for the long haul. A soldier who has been to combat and his or her family has endured the fire of war. It will take a long time for the family and soldier to rebuild their lives. They will never be the same. With the help of the church and the long process of reintegration, the family can grow into a new normal.

Don't overwhelm the soldier and his/her family with attention, but at the same time don't ignore them. Give them the same pastoral care you'd give fire victims, a ministry of presence—meet practical needs, and be agents of grace and healing.

This may take many practical forms from bringing over a favorite meal once a week for several months after the soldier returns, to offering day care so the couple can rebuild their marriage, to paying for the couple to attend a marriage retreat, to providing counseling if the family needs help.

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June (Web-only) 2006, Vol. 50