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The Da Vinci Code, which opens in North American theaters on Friday, debuted Tuesday at a press screening at the Cannes Film Festival in front of some of the world's toughest critics.

The immediate verdict: "Lukewarm praise, shrugs of indifference, some jeering laughter, and a few derisive jabs," according to The Associated Press.

"I kept thinking of the Energizer Bunny, because it kept going and going and going, and not in a good way," said James Rocchi, a film critic for CBS 5 TV in San Francisco.

Reuters reported that the film left critics cold.

"Nothing really works," said Stephen Schaefer of the Boston Herald. "It's not suspenseful. It's not romantic. It's certainly not fun."

Film criticism aside, USA Today reports that the movie "deviates only subtly" from the book, with the lead character—Robert Langdon (played by Tom Hanks)—actually entertaining the notion that Jesus might have been divine after all. (Brown's book claims that Christ wasn't God.)

In the film, Langdon says, "History shows Jesus was an extraordinary man. Why couldn't Jesus have been divine and still have been a father?" That line isn't in the book. And near the end of the movie, Langdon says, "What matters is what you believe," also indicating that the film doesn't take quite as hard-line a stance on the question of Christ's divinity.

USA Today also reports that, contrary to rumors, there are no scenes of Jesus and Mary Magdalene romantically involved.

Rick Honeycutt of The Hollywood Reporter writes in his review: "For those who hate [the book], the eagerly awaited and much-hyped movie version beautifully exposes all its flaws and nightmares of logic. For those who love the book's page-turning intensity, the movie version heightens Brown's mischievous interweaving of genre action, historical facts and utter fictions. In other words, for those who bear witness to the film The Da Vinci Code, what you see depends on what you believe. Kinda like religion itself."

Mainstream critics are not impressed.

Christian critics in North America are just now seeing press screeners. Our review will post on Friday, and next week's Film Forum will include a roundup of reactions from Christian critics.

Like Failure to Launch and Stick It, Poseidon seems like a gift from film studios to film critics. After all, an enormous blockbuster about an enormous ship that, despite its promises of greatness, crashes and burns? The potential for bad shipwreck jokes is endless.

Of course, Poseidon has a historical pedigree that those other films lack. A remake of the classic 1972 disaster flick The Poseidon Adventure, Hollywood's latest big-budget parade of explosions and general carnage also boasts a big-name director; helming this ship is none other than Wolfgang Peterson, the man behind such previous deep-sea disaster flicks as Das Boot and The Perfect Storm. The setting is New Years' Eve, onboard a colossal luxury cruise ship. The passengers are having a doozy of a celebration, at least until some giant waves crash the party. The ship is capsized, and only a few passengers survive.

Those that do survive, though—including characters played by Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Richard Dreyfuss, and Emmy Rossum—are urged to stay inside the safety of an air bubble at the bottom (i.e., top) of the ship. Needless to say, this advice is quickly discarded, and a gang of survivors—led by renegade Dylan Johns (Lucas)—head up (i.e., to the bottom) of the ship in search of safer ground.

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May (Web-only) 2006, Vol. 50