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You just had to feel a little bad for Ron Howard (a very little bad if you're Catholic) last week when his latest pet project—that infernal Dan Brown movie—debuted to jeers and derisive jabs at the Cannes Film Festival. Everyone's been buzzing about The Da Vinci Code's controversial religious and historical claims for years now, but it seems like it never occurred to anyone that the movie might end up being just plain bad. Not bad in a moral sense, mind you—just bad, period.

Don't feel too sorry for the guy, however—critics may hate his movie, but audiences sure don't. The Da Vinci Codeopened last weekend to $224 million in global ticket sales—the second highest-grossing debut of all time, right behind the third and final Star Wars prequel ($253 million). The film broke box office records worldwide, which is sure to remove some of the critical sting its creators were surely suffering.

With its outlandish claims about Christ and Christianity, however, it's no surprise that Christian critics share the negative response of mainstream reviewers. Peter T. Chattaway (Christianity Today Movies) says the film fails as history and as entertainment: "If you want an entertaining yarn about the Knights Templar, historical secrets, and cryptic codes hidden in famous documents and artifacts, go rent National Treasure. Now there's a movie that knows how to have fun with an absurd premise—and it doesn't spread falsehoods about the Church that have already undermined the faith of many Christians. The best thing that can be said about The Da Vinci Code is that it is such a dud that it just might help to bring this phenomenon to an end. And the sooner, the better."

Steven D. Greydanus (Decent Films) rails against the film's "raving anti-Catholicism," calling it "a 2½‑hour seminar on the evils of monotheism, Christianity, and the Catholic Church." He continues: "The DaVinci Code may be the most systematic and sustained cinematic debunking on the institutions of Catholic Christianity and the Catholic Church that I've ever seen. That it is risible and dim-witted doesn't make it less disgusting."

Harry Forbes and David DiCerto (Catholic News Service) write, "If Brown had merely attempted to resurrect some of the darker chapters in church history, unflattering or not, that might have been fair game. But these egregious assertions, gussied up in the trappings of a Robert Ludlum thriller, are different in that they cut to the core of Christian doctrine. Speculative fantasy is one thing, insensitivity to people's basic beliefs is another."

Tom Neven (Plugged In) acknowledges a few positive changes made from the book, but still concludes that "this Da Vinci Code-lite, so to speak, still sets out to sow seeds of doubt about the Christian faith and it challenges important core truths established in Scripture. It also leads to an absurd—and damaging—conclusion. Robert ultimately tells Sophie, 'What matters is what you believe.' Never mind evidence, history, or sound reasoning. Just believe what you want. It's a shaky (and shoddy) theology that clashes with the solution to the story's central mystery since the movie must believe the very things Robert is doubting if it's to end the way it does—by providing 'proof' that all the previously mentioned nonsense is still, somehow, true."

Andrew Coffin (World Magazine) agrees: "This is, of course, the religion of me. Langdon's repeated advice to Sophie in a crucial final scene is, 'It's important what you believe.' Not what's true, but what's true for you. In the final analysis, Christianity isn't entirely repudiated, even if it is based on utter falsehoods, because faith (in something) is important, insofar as that faith benefits those who require it. That, more than Mr. Brown's silly, easily refuted conspiracy theories, is an all too prevalent cancer on our culture's understanding of spirituality."

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May (Web-only) 2006, Vol. 50