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Christianity Today, November (Web-only), 2007 |

Soulwork

A Rustling in the Garden

Why we sometimes wish the atheists were right.

Mark Galli | posted 11/29/2007 09:13AM

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I don't know about you, but to me this is sometimes a consoling thought! No more toeing the line regarding ancient moral codes. No more wallowing in guilt and shame for failing to live up to impossible commands. No more having to bend the knee to an exacting Divinity who says, "Be perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect." Instead, I can become my own moral authority.

If I truly opened myself up to God's presence, if I allowed the light of his holy grace to shine into my life, that light would expose what Jeremiah described as a desperately wicked heart. I'd have to acknowledge how much I hate God's rule in my life. I'd have to confess sins I'd just as soon deny exist. I'd have to turn my life around.

That there is a way of escape from this frightening reality goes without saying—almost. We Christians have been saying it for 2,000 years. We're about to begin another season—Advent—in which we pray and sing and celebrate the first coming of Christ because that coming made it possible for us to enter into the Holy Presence without getting killed.

But that doesn't mean entertaining the Holy Presence is pain-free. Before the healing of forgiveness comes, there is the pain of God's probing deeply into our souls and discovering the ugliness of diseases that fester there. It includes a redemptive suffering as God cleanses the tender wounds opened by his love.

Though we say we want God's presence in our lives, most of the time we're more like Adam and Eve than Mother Teresa. We secretly resonate with the atheists—thank God he is absent! And so most days, we pick another piece of fruit, sit down beneath the tree in the midst of the garden, and try to read yet another book on the problem of God, trying desperately to ignore the rustling in the trees around us.

Mark Galli is senior managing editor of Christianity Today, and author of Jesus Mean and Wild: The Unexpected Love of an Untamable God (Baker 2006). You are invited to comment below or on his blog.

Related Elsewhere:

Previous SoulWork columns are available on our site.

Articles on the new atheists, including Hitchens and Dawkins, are in our special section.

Christianity Today's articles about Mother Teresa's dark night include:

Dr. Luther's Tribulation | Feelings of God's absence didn't plague only Mother Teresa. A Christianity Today editorial. (October 31, 2007)

'I Thirst' | What was going on with Mother Teresa? (September 17, 2007)

Book Uncovers a Lonely, Spiritually Desolate Mother Teresa | "There is no God in me," she wrote. (August 30, 2007)

John Paul II's Canonization Cannon | Why and how this pope has made over 470 saints (October 1, 2003)

Flash: Mother Teresa Was Human | Letters reveal the Catholic nun had doubts about God (February 1, 2003)

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November (Web-only) 2007, Vol. 51

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Kim	Posted: December 07, 2007 11:02 PM

Ahh, but you folks missed the message! Galli is speaking of the human condition - which I can well relate. He is speaking of how, when we allow ourselves to be open to the presence of God, exactly how much we need to change. And - how much we resist that change because it is painful and not in line with our own selfish will. I am grateful for Christians who are not afraid to ask questions, which I frequently hide in my own heart because somehow they're "wrong", and who are not afraid to shine the light of God into the darker thoughts of our own. God meets us there - and that is where we grow.

Allen Maddox

Posted: December 05, 2007 9:58 AM

With all due respect, I do not believe that Christians "secretly wish the atheists were right." I fall into sin like all beleivers do, possibly more, but the "searchlight" that reveals my sin drives me back to God for forgiveness. TThank God for His searchlight! I simply do not believe that "most people [Christians] pick another piece of fruit...and desperately ignore the rustling in the trees." Ta few may, but "MOST?" That is characteristic of unbelievers, not believers. I just wish that those who "secretly agree with the atheists" would keep their secrets to themselves and not presume that everybody feel the same lack of fellowship with the Lord as those who wish the atheists were right. It is a sad commentary on the church if the body of the Lord Jesus Christ spends "most of its time trying desperatly to ignore God." Not very encouraging to a new believer to think this is what the church is all about, he or she might mistakenly think all believers are life this,

Abby, CA

Posted: December 05, 2007 9:09 AM

Thank you, Mark for honestly describing the paradoxes that are very much a part of our God-life. I recall several years ago when reading Richard Foster's "Prayer", his telling that sometimes in the realities of our relationship with God, His presence becomes "too much" for us and we may want a break. I remember what a kindness I felt that God might actually understand and honor that for me. At times the intensity of being can be overwhelming. And then there are the times when we long desperately for a sense of His nearness with no perceived response. There is such a mixed bag, such a unique dance each of us have with God. Thankfully and graciously He is able to hold it all for each of us, honoring and growing up our peculiarities. Maybe that is another way we can bear His image, by learning to contain and hold with grace so many paradoxes of our own being with an understanding that He certainly sees it all much better and is compassionate toward us.

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