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Christianity Today, October, 2007 |

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A Fishy Facebook Friend

Shouldn't the Golden Rule apply in virtual reality?

Agnieszka Tennant | posted 10/03/2007 08:28AM

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I tried to be polite: "People have different expectations of Facebook. I try to use it to keep up with friends I've met in person or worked with extensively online—people who know me and like me for who I am, not for my 'social capital.' You sound like a guy I'd like to get to know in person—and when that happens, I'll be happy to include you among my Facebook friends."

Mover thanked me, said he hoped our paths would cross, and sent more self-promotion: a web address for the conference he's putting together, if I'm interested. Which I might have been, before I met its organizer.

Mover's Facebook profile says he seeks "to provide places for people to gather and communicate both online and offline about how to walk in the way of Jesus in our emerging culture."

Good idea. I hope Jesus' rule to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is on the agenda.

Related Elsewhere:

Other articles about the wired world include:

The Death of Blogs | Well, some of them, anyway. (September 25, 2007)

Go Figure | Recent statistics on religious websites, evangelicals and homosexual teachers, and women's roles. (May 10, 2007)

Christian Colleges' Hottest Profs? | Schools discount site that lets students publicly grade and berate faculty. (February 27, 2007)

Not-So-Quiet Time | Slate's David Plotz blogs about the Bible's many surprises. (February 26, 2007)

Tennant's previous columns are available on our site.

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October 2007, Vol. 51, No. 10

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Angel

Posted: October 08, 2007 12:40 AM


Why is "Mr. Mover" contacting someone he doesn't know personally to promote his conference, yet presenting himself to be her friend? That seems to be Ms/Mr Tennants point. Wisdom is proved right by her actions. Mt 11:19 Deception is no way to promote the gospel.

Teci Pulido

Posted: October 07, 2007 11:56 PM

I get the writer's point about feeling that she might somehow be used --- she and her social capital as she also has a sphere of influence. But on the other extreme, I would feel more creeped out about a guy who I don't know who shows way more than "zero curiosity about me". Now that's a fishy friend, Facebook or elsewhere. If a person wants to make friends online, shouldn't he naturally talk about himself as a means for me to know him? If he didn't ask anything about me, perhaps (to give the benefit of the doubt) I am implicitly being given a chance to say as much or as little about myself as I want. To end, aren't conferences, websites, and everything else being used to spread the gospel? It cannot be called "spreading" if Mr. Mover only talks to the people who already know him, and only those who already know Christ. I hope the writer would be more open-minded and accommodating in the future --- but I appreciate that she was straightforward and respectful in her replies to Mr.Mover.

Mark	Posted: October 07, 2007 5:13 PM

Leory: Lighten up, lighten up lighten up! I think that Agnieszka has some well-reasoned reservations about who would "befriend" her via Facebook. And I don't think she's "whin[ing] about the rules of engagement." I think she's using those rules to her benefit. And in the process, she's sharing with others the means by which we can all participate in the shaping of social norms within such virtual environments. If you find Agnieszka's protocols too distasteful for your liking, the answer is obvious in its simplicity. Don't "talk" to her...or about her.... Jon: I don't agree with your assessment that this is "one of the most petty articles...at CT". You say that "as Christians we can not be offended by such minor things...." Actually, I think that as Christians we are to show proper discernment in all things (re: Col 4:5, Eph 5:15) and perhaps Agnieszka is displaying a proper amount of "wisdom toward outsiders." "For fools rush in where angels fear to tread...." (Alexander Pope-1711)

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