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We tend to respond by keeping quiet, by assimilating, or by throwing down the gauntlet. All three options tend to shut down discussion and to limit our opportunity to be salt and light.

Timothy Keller urges us to find another way. After September 11, 2001, Keller's Manhattan congregation, Redeemer Presbyterian Church, welcomed hundreds of non-Christian seekers. In a Leadership article, Keller said, "Maintaining my ministry to people of a pluralistic culture requires me to preach in a way that neither forsakes the truth of Christianity nor needlessly alienates those raised to assume a plurality of religions. … I don't directly make the naked claim 'Christianity is a superior religion,' and I certainly don't malign other faiths. Instead, I stress Christianity's distinctiveness."

Keller recognizes that certain language pushes the power-and-superiority button at the heart of the Samaritan grudge. We may know the way, the truth, and the life, but what is gained by announcing it so brashly? All conversation stops; the grudge is reinforced. (What if Jesus had taken up the Samaritan woman's argument, telling her point-blank that Gerizim was no worthy place to worship?)

Keller points out that we can speak of Jesus' uniqueness in other ways, emphasizing his humility and suffering, his shedding of power. We can come with a stance of humility and service ourselves, avoiding conflict whenever possible, turning the other cheek as Jesus did and commanded us to. For example, when Jesus' disciples wanted to fight the Samaritan village that insulted them, Jesus rebuked them. He did not want to fight Samaritans, even with cause.

That makes me wonder whether Christians would do well to avoid televised debates, during which the language so often turns hostile. Maybe we should go to the next village, as Jesus did, or look for a chance for one-on-one conversation.

Not that personal conversations are necessarily easy. The woman at the well questioned Jesus' right as a Jew to address her, hinting that Samaritans are Jacob's true heirs and bringing up the age-old disputes about Jerusalem and Gerizim. Whether her tone was combative or merely teasing we do not know, but certainly she knew exactly how to provoke a dispute.

Jesus sidestepped the classic arguments, using creative language—"living water"—to provoke curiosity. He pointed ahead to a time when Samaritan and Jewish differences would be drowned in a newer, deeper reality. While we are living in Samaria, we need such skill in talking, neither disguising the radical views we hold, nor falling into the trap of stale disputes.

More than requiring skillful communication, living in Samaria requires patience and love for the long haul. No one can change a grudge by direct assault. You have to outlive it, and look for fresh opportunities to begin anew. You have to love the people on the other side of the grudge.

Jesus clearly did. He honored Samaria for all time when he chose a Samaritan for his parable of neighborliness. (Who do we choose for our illustrations of virtue?) He sent his disciples to Samaria to announce his resurrection (). Philip the evangelist obeyed and had a great response. "There was great joy in that city" ().

Which suggests that grudges can be undone.

Tim Stafford is a CT senior writer.

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Recent articles about Christian living include "The Mission Of Business," "Healing the Body of Christ," and "Dr. Willard's Diagnosis."

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February 2008, Vol. 52, No. 2